Movies playing in town
27 Dresses (PG-13, 107 minutes) Jane (Katherine Heigl) is always a bridesmaid never a bride. Literally. She’s served as bridesmaid at 27 weddings. Now she’s being forced to do the duty at her own sister’s wedding. The worst part? Sis is marrying the man (Ed Burns) that Jane secretly loves. Yes, that is the heavy odor of well-recycled “chick flick” you smell. Full review here. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Atonement (R, 130 minutes) Ian McEwan’s novel comes to life in an epic and sweeping romance courtesy of director Joe Wright (2005’s Pride & Prejudice). In 1935 England, 13-year-old Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) spins a lie that breaks up the budding love affair between her older sister (Keira Knightley) and a handsome groundskeeper (James McAvoy). Five years later, the repercussions of that lie are still being felt as war rages in Europe. Will our lovers be reunited? Will Briony find forgiveness? Rich in morality, emotion and metaphysical depth, this weighty drama manages to combine love and war in one gorgeously assembled package. Playing Regal Downtown Mall 6
The Bucket List (PG-13, 97 minutes) Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman star as (basically) Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in this feel-good Hallmark card comedy/drama about two old dudes dying of cancer who decide to realize their “Things to Do Before We Kick the Bucket” list. They go on safari, skydive, drive racecars, etc. It’s kind of fun to see Nicholson and Freeman having fun, but the film is a cruise-control tearjerker, pushing all the preordained buttons of the genre. Crowds will probably respond, however, right down to the patented Wise Old Morgan Freeman-Brand narration. Full review here. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Cloverfield (PG-13, 84 minutes) While intimate details remain under a cloak of secrecy, this J.J. Abrams-produced sci-fi thriller does revolve around a giant monster attack upon the city of New York. A small group of people, gathered together for a friend’s goodbye party, capture the events through the lens of their camcorder, Blair Witch-style. Carmike Cinema 6
Definitely, Maybe (PG-13) Ryan Reynolds stars in what looks like a feature film version of “How I Met Your Mother.” He plays a Manhattan political consultant in the midst of a divorce who recounts his past relationships to his 10-year-old daughter (precocious kid du jour Abigail Breslin). But which of these past relationships actually ended up as his wife? That’s a secret…for some reason. Opening Friday; check local listings
The Desert Princess and the Pirates (PG-13, 90 minutes) Cartoon Network’s anime hit “One Piece” gets upgraded to the big screen. Seems the Straw Hat Pirates are helping Vivi save her kingdom from being destroyed by a fabricated war, which all began when the first drought occurred three years ago—an effort brought about by the secret organization known Baroque Works, led my Mr. 0, whose identity…You know what? I have no idea what I’m talking about. If you’re 10 and love Japanese super-powered pirate cartoons, enjoy. Playing at Carmmike Cinema 6
The Eye (PG-13, 100 minutes) This Americanized remake of the Pang brothers’ 2002 Taiwanese horror hit finds blind gal Jessica Alba on the receiving end of a cornea transplant. Miraculously, she regains the ability to see. Unfortunately, her new eyes give her the ability to see ghosts. That’s what you get for settling on a pair of used eyes. Playing at Regal Seminole Square 4
First Sunday (PG-13, 98 minutes) Ice Cube, graduating somewhat from his dull string of family films (Are We Done Yet?), teams up with “30 Rock” nutball Tracy Morgan to wreak some stereotype-heavy mayhem. Cube and Morgan are a couple of hapless criminals sentenced to a stint in community service. While working at a local church, they come up with a scheme to rob the joint. Things don’t turn out quite the way they planned, of course, leading to a predictable change of heart. Comic Katt Williams contributes a memorably weird role as the church’s choir director. Carmike Cinema 6
Fool’s Gold (PG-13, 110 minutes) Reviewed here.
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (G, 74 minutes) OMG! Tween goddess Miley Cyrus and her Disney Channel alter ego, Hannah Montana, sing their biggest hits on screen! In 3-D! Whether or not this actually counts as the “best” depends largely on gender and age. If you’re a girl under the age of 12, you’ll probably be there screaming along. Did I mention the Jonas Brothers will be performing as well? Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Jumper (PG-13, 90 minutes) The bestselling sci-fi series by Stephen Gould gets the action movie treatment by director Doug Liman (The Bourne Identity, Mr. and Mrs. Smith). Hayden Christensen is a confused young man born with the ability to teleport anywhere in the world. Eventually, he discovers a secret order of people with identical abilities and becomes embroiled in a superpowered war that has been raging for thousands of years. Opening Friday; check local listings
Juno (PG-13, 91 minutes) A labor of love from stripper-turned-writer Diablo Cody (author of Candy Girl) and director Jason Reitman (Thank You for Smoking), this sweet, smart and very funny flick easily earns a spot as one of the best films of the year. Snarky, cynical 16-year-old Juno (Ellen Page, Hard Candy) gets pregnant after a bout of boredom-induced sex with her best friend Bleeker (Michael Cera from Superbad). Ruling out abortion, Juno decides to have the kid and give it away to "some lady with a bum ovary or a couple nice lesbos." The pitch-perfect dialogue, the lo-fi soundtrack, the spectacular cast and the perceptive story make this the cult comedy to beat. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Me & You, Us, Forever (PG) Christian-centric films, normally relegated to the Christmas/Easter holiday weekends, are now expanding into Valentine’s Day thanks to this religious romance. In it, a 47-year-old Christian man (Michael Blain-Rozgay, who played a waiter on one episode of “NYPD Blue”) looks back on a 1974 romance with his high school sweetheart. Opening Friday; check local listings
Meet the Spartans (PG-13, 84 minutes) Didn’t I declare a fatwa on anyone who dared to make another stupid Airplane-style spoof after last year’s Epic Movie? As usual, no on in Hollywood was listening to me, because here’s another one from the same idiots who gave us Scary Movie, Date Movie and Epic Movie. It expends most of its energy making fun of 300, with a couple digs left over for random stuff like Ghost Rider, Happy Feet and “Ugly Betty.” Whatever. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (PG, 124 minutes) After the first, frantic, largely nonsensical National Treasure raked in a ton of dough at the box office, we were guaranteed a return visit from Nic Cage and his Indiana Jones-ish historian. This time around, he’s trying to discover the truth about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln by figuring out the mystery behind the missing pages from John Wilkes Booth’s diary. Naturally, this involves lots of crazy clues, some Tomb Raider-inspired traps and a United States map. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Over Her Dead Body (PG-13, 95 minutes) Eva Longoria Parker stars as a bitchy gal who died in a freak accident on her wedding day and now haunts her fiance’s new girlfriend (Lake Bell from “Boston Legal”). You could say this is a ripoff of Noël Coward’s Blithe Spirit, but that’s way too highminded for this slapstick romp. It’s more like a ripoff of Hello Again with Shelly Long. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Rambo (R, 93 minutes) What the world needs now is a 62-year-old action hero pumped full of HGH. Not to worry, Sylvester Stallone is here to fit that bill, pulling his John Rambo character out of its Reagan-era mothballs. This time around, Rambo has been hired to locate a group of Christian aid workers who have gone missing in the Burmese jungle, violently exterminating anyone who gets in his way. Written and directed by Sly himself. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
The Savages (R, 113 minutes) Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney star as a pair of unsuccessful siblings who are suddenly burdened with caring for their nearly-gone father. Ancient and largely unspoken tales of abuse are pushed aside for more pressing burdens of adult diapers and senility. Finely observed moments of humanity and fragile humor lift what could have been a depressing look at life, death and regret. It’s still not a cheerful story, but it is a very mature and sensitively told one. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
The Spiderwick Chronicles (PG, 97 minutes) The popular young adult fantasy series comes to the big screen with hardly a whiff of Harry Potter about it. Three young children (including Freddie Highmore, playing twins) move to a remote country mansion with their recently divorced mother (Mary-Louise Parker). There, they discover their great uncle’s legacy, a book detailing the lives of the fairies, goblins, brownies and other magical creatures that inhabit our world. Unfortunately, an evil goblin wants to get his hands on that book, forcing our young heroes to defend themselves. The cast is quite good (Nick Nolte, Joan Plowright and David Strathairn are among the adults), and the script (partially credited to John Sayles) is surprisingly mature. Way too scary for the little ones, though. Opening Friday; check local listings
Step Up 2 the Streets (PG-13, 98 minutes) Apparently Step Up, You Got Served, Feel the Noise, Honey, Stomp the Yard, Save the Last Dance and How She Move weren’t enough for you people. So here’s another hip hop dance film about kids at a prestigious dance academy who shock the establishment with their “radical” street moves. In real life, your college dance instructor probably wrote her thesis on breakdancing. Opening Friday; check local listings
Strange Wilderness (R) Here’s the rule of thumb: Any film produced by Adam Sandler, that does not actually star Adam Sandler (Grandma’s Boy, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, The Hot Chick, The Master of Disguise, The Animal) sucks. This film, for example, was produced by Sandler. In it, a bunch of idiots (including Steve Zahn and Jonah Hill) try to pump up ratings for their inept wildlife show by going in search of Bigfoot. If you are not stoned while watching this movie, you will not laugh. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
There Will Be Blood (R, 158 minutes) Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights, Magnolia) ditches his ensemble style to (loosely and magnificently) adapt an obscure Upton Sinclair novel. Daniel Day-Lewis eats up the screen as Daniel Plainview, a scrappy misanthrope who builds an oil empire with his bare hands in turn-of-the-last-century Texas. Like Citizen Kane and Giant before it, this is epic American mythmaking. Unlikable as he may be, Plainview is an icon. There Will Be Blood follows him throughout the decades as he amasses his fortune, adopts a son, founds a town and makes an enemy of the church. A gritty, roughnecked portrait of American industry, religion and politics. Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre
Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show (R, 110 minutes) Emcee Vince Vaughn and four stand-up comedians hand-picked by the actor travel the country to perform in 30 cities in 30 days. This film documents their interactions on and off stage. More jokes and fewer road movie segments might have been a better idea. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins (PG-13, 114 minutes) Martin Lawrence stars as Roscoe, a successful Los Angeles talk show host who reluctantly returns to his rural roots in the Deep South for a family reunion. James Earl Jones, Mike Epps, Cedric the Entertainer and Mo’Nique are among the relatives he’s trying to avoid. In the end, you can be sure lessons are learned. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
