Q: Dear Ace, I heard somewhere that the average Albemarle County school day is 20 minutes shorter than the most other schools in the state. That adds up over time to a crime! Can we really spare those precious minutes?—Charlie Frown A: Well, dear Charlie, do not believe everything you hear. Ace, for one, has […]
Q: Dear Ace, I heard somewhere that the average Albemarle County school day is 20 minutes shorter than the most other schools in the state. That adds up over time to a crime! Can we really spare those precious minutes?—Charlie Frown A: Well, dear Charlie, do not believe everything you hear. Ace, for one, has […]
Every year at about this time, we take a special look back at the news that was. And yes, we’re looking for the gaffes, the missteps, the you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me’s. Thankfully, 2004 was rich in them, mostly because public officials did so much to promote fear and divisiveness. And that was just the Sheriff’s office! Media organizations […]
—Probing Pedestrian, Esquire A: Well, good Pedestrian, thou shalt probe no further. Ace appreciates any and all queries whose answering involves throwing on a hardhat and getting his hands dirty in the line of investigative duty. David “Scar” Hodo was, after all, Ace’s favorite member of the Village People. No construction man has ever […]
Dear Ace, What’s this I hear about my cell phone number getting released to telemarketers?—Chatty Cathy Well, Chatty, if you thought when you purchased your handy-dandy cellular telephone-o that you were safe from the grasp of telemarketers everywhere, think again. Looks like those peaceful, uninterrupted nights around the family dinner table are to be no […]
Dylan sang that the times they were a-changin’. Bowie said to turn and face the ch-ch-changes. And in 2004, all that change really hit home for Charlottesville’s music fans. The year witnessed the fading out of some of the city’s most cherished traditions, whether grooving to Jimmy O at Fridays After 5, listening to locally […]
—Pynt Syzed A: Well, Mr. Syzed, first of all, Ace wants to know what crazy eastern European country you crawled out of, and as for your question, Pynt, “Anatomically correct?” Ace colors at the thought! Composure regained, Ace put in a few calls to the friendly folks at Monticello and Montpelier, and confirmed that something […]
The question comes from a cherubic young face, blue eyes framed with neat blonde hair, a boy wearing a basketball jersey four sizes too big for his preteen frame. “Can you ball on me?” replies White Chocolate, a.k.a. 26-year-old Randy Gill, slouching behind a folding table set up near Santa in Fashion Square Mall, outside […]
—Bob Humbug A: I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, Bob, but perhaps ‘tis the season to finally purchase a faux Christmas tree—at least in the Old Dominion. Seems like the State agrees with PETA that fir is dead, at least in public places. Last October the Virginia Board of Housing and Community […]
On November 9, 1620, the Mayflower bobbed in choppy brine off the Cape Cod coast. On board were 101 puke-green Puritans, seasick and starving after an Atlantic crossing that had taken more than two months. Although they’d hoped to land further south, on the more temperate beaches of Virginia, the passengers and crew soon decided […]
—Rude Thaw A: Well, Mr. Thaw, news of Mrs. Madison’s entertainment talents is news to Ace who, until today’s research proved otherwise, thought that Dolley Madison and Betsy Ross were the same person. Personally, Ace’s favorite dead Dolly is that sheep clone from Scotland, whose entire life’s advice regarding everything from entertaining to kilts can […]