News

By C.J. Sullivan and Dave Hollander

Dear Georgette: What, you don’t think the Paramount is friendly? You got some kinda problem with the Paramount that Ace needs to fix for you? Like maybe with a fat punch to the schnoz?

The most common argument to support the legal defining of marriage as a union between a male and female is that of tradition. As marriage has always been characterized this way, so should it always be, claim its supporters. This argument assumes that a male and a female create the most stable union that society […]

Dear Crank: Tell me about it! It seems that everywhere that Ace goes, there’s a boxy, earth-toned Scandinavian baby wagon blocking his path. Unfortunately, due to ongoing court proceedings, Ace is not at liberty to reveal the exact make and model of the Acemobile—but you can rest assured that it is nothing as safe, staid and boring as a Volvo. (Nor does it do Volvo-esque things such as start consistently, or reach speeds in excess of 50 mph). But, for whatever reason, it does seem that Charlottesvillians love their Volvos, and it’s not a trend that looks likely to end any time soon.

As one whose lack of religious fervor long ago reached the chronic stage, I often find myself pondering an unlikely question. “When, oh Lord, when?” I am not asking for any particular personal favor from one capable of granting it but, rather, expressing simple wonderment. The kind of wonderment prompted by the quiescence of the American people. A quiescence that accepts a torrent of outrageous conduct on the part of the Bush administration.