1. Which of the following is a fabulous remedy for cleaning up spills in your oven?
A. Inviting your mom over.
B. Tossing a towel in there and waiting a few months.
C. Sprinkling the spill with salt while the oven’s still hot, then wiping with a sponge once it’s cooled.
D. A hose.
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2. Crumpled-up, black-and-white newsprint dipped in vinegar can be used to clean which dirty item?
A. A clogged spam filter.
B. Windows.
C. That comment you’ve been regretting ever since the night of your company Christmas party. You know, the one about bananas.
D. Karl Rove.
3. What’s the best way to remove stickers from wooden furniture?
A. Sell the kids who put them there into slavery, then use the profits to buy new furniture.
B. Fine-grit sandpaper and Gone With the Wind on DVD.
C. A very small axe.
D. Soak the sticker
in white vinegar,
then scrub.
4. Which two cleaning products should never be used at the same time?
A. Bleach and ammonia.
B. Shock and awe.
C. Milk and honey.
D. His and hers.
5. True or false: Hip-hop pioneer Doug E. Fresh stumbled on his stage name when
attempting to describe the scent of his mother’s linen closet.
6. In which situation is the use of bleach an appropriate response?
A. You have a lie you’re getting ready to tell that’s so not white.
B. Your friend brought her new baby over to the house, and you’re pretty sure you saw
it burp.
C. You need to prove to your 16-year-old cousin how great Nirvana really was.
D. Someone in your family has been feeling a little tubercular lately.
7. Which of the following can be used to collect cat hair?
A. A dog.
B. Diamond-encrusted tweezers.
C. Your roommate’s black pants.
D. A dryer sheet.
8. Rubbing alcohol can be useful for which of the following?
A. Erasing your bad memories of sophomore year.
B. Sanitizing your language for that weekly phone call with your parents.
C. Cleaning ceramic tile.
D. Making your future smell nicer.
9. What should you do before you vacuum your carpet?
A. Sweep it with a broom.
B. Pulverize the evidence, then sprinkle liberally over the floor.
C. About three hours’ worth of yoga poses that require you to press your forehead firmly to the floor.
D. Have some friends over for a glue’n’
glitter party.
Answers: 1. C. 2. B. 3. D. 4. A. 5. False. 6. D. 7. D. 8. C. 9. A.
