A vacation can work wonders for any relationship, even if you can only get away for a few days. Of course, it can also turn into a stressful nightmare, so plan a little bit ahead.
The beauty of traveling to an unfamiliar place is that suddenly there are no house chores to do. You can’t be tempted to start fixing stuff around the house or do laundry in your free time. Instead, you can devote yourself full-time to you and your lover. And if you are tired of having sex in the same old place at home, just being in a new environment can add a little spice to your sex life.
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I am often struck by how today’s couples can keep up with a full calendar of activities and social commitments, but can rarely find time for each other. Few people put shared couple time on top of their list of priorities. Often it does not even make the list at all—the assumption is that it will automatically happen when two people live under the same roof. Not true. You really have to make a conscious effort to spend quality time with your partner. Taking the family for an outing is a fine thing to do, but it does not count as lone couple time. That being said, I have had many female clients say that, even with kids, family or friends in tow, they feel closer to their partner and more interested in sex after they have spent a precious day together.
Couples who struggle with sex, and whom I give the assignment to carve out some time just for each other, often come back surprised by how much they enjoyed being together. Sometimes seemingly small changes can make a big difference. But finding time with your partner in your day-to-day lives can be a challenge, especially if you are a night owl and your mate is an early riser, or vice versa. That’s where vacations come in.
So what are the most important things to remember when planning a trip? If you have kids or friends joining you, think about your sleeping arrangements. It may pay off to get that adjacent bedroom for your kids. Surely, they will have more fun—and so will you. Find out about what activities, sights and entertainment the area you will be visiting has to offer. Plan on doing something you both will enjoy. Maybe even pamper yourself and get a couple’s massage, or if that does not appeal to both of you, find something that does.
Be sure to put these items on your packing list: lubricant, condoms or other birth control, massage oil, lingerie, and sex toys can come in handy when you are relaxed on vacation as compared to when stressed out at home. Talk to your lover about what you two should pack. Just the planning alone can be a stimulating experience.
Some people don’t have the option of getting away with their lover. However, if you are single, going on a trip can be a great way to meet other people with similar interests to yours. There are plenty of travel agencies that specialize in trips for singles, including adventure trips and cruises. And if you have a partner, but cannot afford going on vacation, try to at least make some time for each other. You can have a fabulous vacation at home as long as you get out of your everyday routine.
Finally, The New York Times recently had an article about a popular new kind of travel: nakations. You guessed it—these are vacations where you can get naked at clothing-optional resorts. One of the special perks is that you get to pack extra light.
Annette Owens, MD, Ph.D., is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. She sees clients in her Charlottesville office (cvillewellness.com) and answers questions online at LoveandHealth.info and Sexual Health.com. She has co-edited the new four-volume book, Sexual Health (Praeger).
