A personal lubricant is a godsend for anyone suffering from vaginal dryness—breastfeeding moms, for instance, who often don’t know (and often aren’t told) that as long as they nurse, their estrogen levels will be low, causing them to be as dry as the Sahara. No, it’s not that they no longer like their partner. It’s a simple physiologic fact, and shouldn’t deter them from nursing.
Different types of lubricants are available in most grocery stores and pharmacies, usually in the condom aisle. The genital tissue is quite sensitive and can be easily irritated, so I recommend sticking to some of the commercial products that are specifically designed for that area of the body. I will mention a few acceptable natural products below.
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Basically, there are three different kinds of lubes: water- based, oils, and silicone-based. The water-based lubricants usually do not irritate and easily wash out. Some of them come with Vitamin E, which is great for women who tend to get minor tissue cracks during intercourse. And then there are some called “warming liquid” that cause a warming sensation when the rubbing begins.
If you don’t know what to buy, get a lube sampler pack from goodvibes.com and go with your favorite kind. Don’t keep using a lube that you don’t like. Life is too short for that!
Water-based lubricants will dry up after a while, so they need to be reapplied frequently. Don’t just keep the bottle in the bathroom—bring it along wherever you are having sex, and reapply it frequently. Most of these water-based lubricants contain glycerin (which some people don’t tolerate well) to make them more slippery.
If you want to use oil-based lubricants, stay away from the scented oils. They can cause irritation of the genitals. Oils can be very hard to wash out—it takes a long time and a lot of water and soap to get rid of them. They also tend to destroy anything that has latex in it, such as condoms, dental dams (used for oral sex on women), gloves, diaphragms, and latex sex toys.
Silicone-based lubricants are a bit more expensive. They have an oily consistency, but are not greasy. They do wash out with soap and water, though not as easily as the water-based lubricants. They are safe to use with latex condoms and products like sex toys, except for silicone-based toys.
Stay away from lubes with nonoxynol-9. This chemical was added to lubes in the past as a way to kill the HIV virus. But it ended up being very irritating to a lot of people, sometimes to the extent of causing small sores.
Natural lubes you can use include mild mineral oils, and saliva (spit, in laymen’s terms), which has been used for thousands of years. Some believe you should not use saliva because there are too many bacteria and perhaps viruses in it. But it is safe to use unless you have an active mouth infection. Another natural option is Vitamin E body skin oil, which has a very oily, thick and slippery consistency.
Some women like using Albolene, which is a makeup remover and contains mostly mineral oil. It actually gets more slippery as it gets warmer. One thing that I do not recommend is Vaseline, because it is simply too thick and blocks the pores. Also, it’s very hard to wash off. In addition, don’t use lotions or creams because they get absorbed too quickly and don’t provide a lot of lubrication in the first place.
Finally, there are vaginal moisturizers that are applied every few days, regardless of when you have sex. They can also be found in the condom aisle.
Annette Owens, MD, Ph.D., is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. She sees clients in her Charlottesville office (cvillewellness.com) and answers questions online at LoveandHealth.info and Sexual Health.com. She has co-edited the new four-volume book, Sexual Health (Praeger).
