“American Idol”
Tuesday and Wednesday 8pm, Fox
I dropped “Idol” this year before it hit the Top 10; I think it was the second Beatles week that turned me off the show for the first time since Season 3. It’s not that the kids this time were untalented. But…they were unlikable. I mean, as human beings. The only ones I cared about were Carly Smithson and Brooke White, and they got cut weeks ago. Now we’re down to the equally predictable Davids: Archuleta can be counted on to belt out pleasing, totally inoffensive numbers that drive the ’tween set wild, all with that creepy frozen expression on his face. Cook can be counted on to take a generic pop song, slow it down in the beginning, and then build to a growling, shrieking chorus and be unanimously praised as “original” for doing so. Archuleta for the win.
“Boston Legal”
Wednesday 10pm, ABC
A brief history lesson: Back in the early Aughts, David E. Kelley could do no wrong. The golden TV writer/producer had many hits (“Picket Fences,” “Ally McBeal,” “Boston Public”) and even more accolades. Then goodwill dried up, and his new TV projects flamed out spectacularly. In a last-ditch effort to save one of his remaining shows, ABC’s “The Practice,” the unorthodox move was made to ditch a huge chunk of the cast and replace it with an almost entirely new one, led by James Spader. The gambit worked and the show was rejuvenated, and eventually morphed into this show. Well, history is about to repeat itself. Following this season finale the show will return for one last run, and rumor has it that another major house cleaning is in store. You can take Larroquette, but don’t you dare touch my Shatner!
“Ugly Betty”
Thursday 8pm, ABC
I know I just wrote about this show when it returned from the strike. But big news: Lilo (mortal name: Lindsay Lohan) is in! Yes, our nation’s leading pioneer in pantyless paparazzi shots, formal leggings, and designer cokepants is joining the cast of TV’s most fashionable show for a limited run, beginning with tonight’s season finale. Lohan will reportedly play the mean girl from Betty’s old high school, who now comes to her former tormentee, beret in hand, after falling on hard times. It might seem odd that a big movie star like Lohan would be slumming it on the American version of a telenovela, but, hey, sister needs the work. Let’s see if she can recapture some of that sassy spark that made us fall in like with her in the first place. In other casting news, Rebecca Romijn is out as the magazine’s transsexual editor. Boo! She will sincerely be missed.
