“Secret Talents of the Stars”
Tuesday 10pm, CBS
It’s no “Circus of the Stars,” but in these post-ironic times, it’ll have to do. A dozen or so marginally famous people will amaze and astound you, and debase themselves for your viewing pleasure, as they show off talents other than the ones that made them, well, marginally famous. Country star Clint Black does stand-up comedy while “Star Trek”’s George Takei sings country music; ’80s pop drummer Sheila E. juggles while Danny Bonaduce takes to the unicycle; Marla Maples does gymnastics while singer/actress Mya tap dances. Dismiss it if you like, but these five words have me breathless in anticipation: “Ben Stein dancing the jitterbug.”
“The Office”
Thursday 9pm, NBC
When last we saw our favorite Dunder Mifflin employees, Angela had dumped Dwight after he euthanised her cat by sticking it in the freezer. D-bag Andy asked Angie to beer him a date, and she said yes. This unholy union took its toll on Dwight, and no amount of flying around in the city in Second Life will turn that frown upside down. Meanwhile, things got even more awkward for Michael and Jan during his deposition in her sexual harassment suit against the company, and the two of them continued their slow collapse into an emotional black hole. Jim and Pam stopped being America’s favorite would-be couple and became America’s favorite actual couple. And Kelly Kapoor proved that she’s as skilled at talking trash as she is at staging impromptu lunchtime fashion shows. Yay, “The Office” is back!
“Viva Hollywood!”
Sunday 10:30pm, VH1
If you ever complain that there’s nothing on TV, flick over to Univision or Telemundo. In addition to some of the most gloriously tacky game shows ever aired (“12 Corazones”!), you’ll find a bunch of telenovelas, Spanish language soap operas that are infinitely superior to their Anglo counterparts in every way (even if you can’t understand a word the actors are saying). This new reality competition sees aspiring Latin actors trying to become the next telenovela star by mastering the “seven deadly sins” of Spanish soap opera: passion, lust, charisma, drama, fire, seduction and scandal. Does that list seem a bit redundant? Sure. Will it result in scenes of baby-napping, shirt-ripping, twin-shooting and other campy shenanigans? Almost certainly. Maria Conchita Alonso and Carlos Ponce judge, celebrity astrologer Walter Mercado advises, and guest stars include Daisy Fuentes, Perez Hilton and Charo. I think I’m in love.
