The wake-up call to use safer sex methods came in the 1980s. People realized that unprotected sex could give you HIV/AIDS and kill you. In a nutshell, safer sex means using techniques to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Some of these methods, such as using condoms, can also prevent pregnancies, but the main goal is to prevent STIs.
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Why do you need to concern yourself with safer sex? Because the United States has the highest rate of STIs of any industrialized nation. Sexually active young people account for about half of all new cases of annual infections here. More than half of all Americans will get an STI at some point in their lifetime (more on this at ashastd.org).
What to do depends on whom you have sex with and what sexual practices you engage in.
| Get tested Talk to your health care provider about getting tested for STIs or call the Charlottesville/Albemarle Health Department, 434-972-6217. They offer weekly STI testing, including confidential, anonymous HIV testing and counseling. Also try the Virginia HIV/STD/Viral Hepatitis Hotline at 800-533-4148 where trained counselors can address your questions. |
If you are in a mutually monogamous sexual relationship with a trusted partner who is free of any STI, and the same goes for you, you obviously have nothing to worry about. There is no risk of passing any type of infection on between you.
STIs are transmitted through exchange of body fluids (blood, semen and vaginal fluids). Be clear: You cannot get an STI from an infected toilet seat nor from an insect that stung you after stinging another person who has an STI. Nor have saliva, tears, or sweat ever been shown to result in transmission of HIV.
If you don’t know a person’s STI status, the safest option is to not to have sex with him or her. The second best thing to do is to use safer sex methods. Keep in mind, too, that limiting the number of sexual partners reduces your risk of exposure to STIs.
If in doubt about your status or your partner’s, it’s really important to get tested, because some STIs are silent and do not show any symptoms, but nevertheless can be passed on. Talk openly about this before you start having sex. And ladies, bring your own condoms! There is no excuse to not take charge of your own health. You need condoms for vaginal as well as anal intercourse. Try flavored condoms for oral sex; "kiss of mint" or chocolate anyone?
Avoid condoms that use nonoxynol-9, because this spermicide has been shown to cause irritation and actually may increase the risk of an infection with a virus. Silicone lubricated condoms are fine to use.
Don’t forget about the female condom, new variants of which are just coming out now, and then there are dental dams. These are sheets of latex or silicone used not just by dentists but for oral sex on women. They provide a mechanical barrier between the tongue and whichever orifice is being licked. Be sure to keep track of which side is which!
Some people complain about safer sex techniques, but many have discovered that it’s cool to know about and to practice. Putting on a condom can be turned into a fun and sexy part of lovemaking! If he fumbles around with it, just help him out. And remember that even after midlife you need to use safer sex methods when with a new partner. Viruses don’t check your age before they invade you.
Annette Owens, MD, Ph.D., is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. She sees clients in her Charlottesville office (cvillewellness.com) and answers questions online at LoveandHealth.info and SexualHealth.com. She has co-edited the new four-volume book, Sexual Health (Praeger).
Get tested
Talk to your health care provider about getting tested for STIs or call the Charlottesville/Albemarle Health Department, 434-972-6217. They offer weekly STI testing, including confidential, anonymous HIV testing and counseling. Also try the Virginia HIV/STD/Viral Hepatitis Hotline at 800-533-4148 where trained counselors can address your questions.
