The coronavirus pandemic has forced us to reassess many things about our lives, including how we celebrate milestones. Many couples who always assumed they’d have a big wedding with 100 or 200 guests—or even more—have put the brakes on those plans. And just like the idea of working from home, the trend toward small and intimate weddings shows signs of sticking around even post-pandemic. Is the micro wedding here to stay?
Even before COVID-19, Real Simple reported an uptick in the number of small weddings, chalking up the trend to couples’ urge to slash costs—which run, for the average wedding, around $34,000. Local planner Sarah Fay Waller, whose company is Day by Fay, says it’s true that smaller weddings can cost less—though as always, the devil’s in the details. Food, drink, décor, and every other budget item can vary wildly. “In theory the smaller guest counts mean a less expensive wedding,” says Waller, who defines a micro wedding as 35 or fewer guests.
She also cautions that those who initially planned large weddings, and then had to downsize because of pandemic safety concerns, faced even higher costs—adding extra tables, for example, to help guests maintain social distance.
What does a small wedding actually look like? For starters, the venue options may be different—perhaps a restaurant (Waller mentions the third floor of The Local, the back room of Tavola, or the Clifton Inn) or a smaller space within a winery or cidery, like Grace Estate or Septenary. “There are a handful of venues that really lend themselves to intimacy,” Waller says.
Crafting a guest list changes, too. The question is less “Who are all the people who have meant something to me or my family?” and more “Who is in my innermost circle?” Couples need to talk through their priorities. “They realize who their nearest and dearest are,” says Waller. In 2020, she saw clients forced to uninvite some guests when curtailing their original plans—an awkward situation for everyone. On the plus side, at this point, almost anyone will be familiar enough with Zoom to watch your wedding from afar if you decide to invite some guests on a virtual basis.
Some planners and bloggers see the micro wedding as a chance to plan out-of-the-box entertainment like helicopter rides or magicians. If you’re paying for fewer plated dinners, centerpieces, and welcome bags, perhaps you gain wiggle room in your budget for items you wouldn’t have normally considered. Other couples might see the smaller scale as an opportunity to break some rules and go a bit casual—let’s say, opting for a thrifted vintage dress instead of a traditional gown.
Waller says that about half the couples currently approaching her are planning weddings for fewer than 100 guests—a real shift from what she’d experienced in her pre-COVID career. “For late 2021 or even into 2022, weddings are looking like they’ll be a little bit smaller,” she says.
Ultimately, the biggest difference between a large and small wedding is probably the couple’s ability to have real conversations with each guest, rather than just a passing smile. That’s appealing no matter what’s going on in the headlines.
Covid wedding?
If you are going ahead with a wedding—even a small one—during the pandemic, be prepared for certain complications. “You really want to ensure all of your guests are tested,” says Waller; some of her clients have paid for the testing themselves. Then you’ll need hand sanitizer, spaced-out seating, perhaps a plexiglass barrier at the bar, and a clear policy on masks. “It’s a different way to celebrate, very unusual and surreal,” Waller says.
