 Best Musical Group: Sons of Bill. |
This year’s winners of the Best Musical Group category are the Sons of Bill, whose blog about their summer tour—entertaining U.S. troops stationed in the Pacific—has graced our website since late June. We e-mailed the Sons to give ’em the good news. They, busy lads though they are, wasted no time in replying:
The Sons of Bill would like to lodge a formal public complaint (a rant, if you will) with the staff of C-VILLE Weekly.
Apparently, some penny-pincher in the budget department (we would assume not the same penny-pincher who decided it would be cost-effective for a weekly paper to have a ground-floor, neon-blue storefront on the most expensive street in town) had the bright idea to stage the annual "Best of C-VILLE" voting while the aforementioned Sons of Bill were overseas bringing the rock to our men and women in uniform. This way—the theory went—C-VILLE’s Hearsay and Propaganda Department (the same people who wrote all that stuff about The Hook on the free speech chalkboard) can rig the Best Band category so we won’t win, and C-VILLE won’t have to worry about them attending the Winner’s Congratulatory Dinner Fiesta Get Down. Accordingly, C-VILLE would only have to stock the bar with three or four bottles of good bourbon, as opposed to the mandatory 18 bottles (from various recognized and respected distilleries) that are clearly demanded in the SoB concert rider. Furthermore, C-VILLE saves itself the case of dry red wine that Sam Wilson demands for any public appearance not involving vintage tube amplification. Every penny counts, right?
Wrong. Great plan guys! Screw the band! Save a few bucks on the complimentary bar tab! Real professional.
Despite this obvious and premeditated affront, the Sons of Bill would like to take this opportunity to thank the people of Albemarle County and the City of Charlottesville. Specifically, those of you who read the C-VILLE Weekly and, among that group, those of you who like our music. More specifically those of you within that crowd that actually pay for our music. If you voted for us and you burned our CD from your friend, kindly call up C-VILLE and retract your vote. We won’t accept it. The only piracy we can support involves boats and Keith Richards, and you ain’t no Rolling Stone (nor a drifting log, for that matter).
So then, to those of you who read C-VILLE, voted for us and bought our CD: an endless and gracious thanks to each and every one of you. You’re the ones who make it possible for us to traipse about the globe acting like teenagers. And you’re still the best (and best-looking) crowd we’ve played for. In retrospect, if you haven’t bought a CD but you bought a ticket to see us at Starr Hill—and then voted for us—we’d like to extend our thanks to you, too. If you called us to get on the guest list for Starr Hill, you’d better call up C-VILLE and cancel that vote, ’cause you’re right up there with the pirates, as far as we’re concerned.
All right, that’s all for now. We’re finally back to bask in the warm glow of our triumph and frighten a bunch of bagel-boilers and gelato-scoopers at the Winner’s Gala. If we couldn’t get you on the list for Starr Hill, we’ll try to get you on the list for the C-VILLE party, but be warned, these things often drown in red tape and empty promises. Either way, we’ll see you from the stage soon enough. Oh yeah…and thanks to Bill.
