—Wyclef Pawn A: Well, Wyclef, as we all know, this little old One-Nation-Under-God is doing its damndest to make sure that no Miss Nelson is missing and every little Mohammad and Jesus can “See Spot run.”  And, if you’ve noticed our fresh-off-the-boat Somali Bantu refugees wandering down Preston looking a little dazed and confused, then […]

A: If one thing’s clear it’s that you, my dear Pia, have been doing some serious wishful thinking. Not that you’re totally off the mark. The dude in question is David Sloan, a real estate agent with Roy Wheeler Realty. But he sure ain’t just giving the scooters away. To get your hands on those […]

A: Well, Eubie, first thing Ace wants to say is vitners are farmers, too! Moreover, according to the website www.mountaincovevineyards.com, Weed’s an old hand at the business. He and his wife Emily founded Mountain Cove Vineyards in 1973, and they claim it’s the "oldest continuously operating winery" in the State.     But you’re not wondering […]

Q:Ace, while grabbing a bite to eat at everywhere from Michael’s Bistro to McDonald’s I’ve noticed a paper called Coffee News in distribution bins. It’s not exactly “news” and it’s not exactly about coffee, so what’s the deal? Has it been around long? And what purpose does it serve?—Sugar Ann Milkie A: Sugar Ann, sit […]

Q: Ace: I heard that the Keswick Hall golf course, bastion of the bourgeoisie (and better), was recently lauded for being environmentally sustainable. “Environmental” and “sustainable” are not the first two words that spring to mind when it comes to golf, so Ace me this: How can a golf course be “green” in more ways […]

Q: Ace, a little bird told me the City recently chopped down the last two trees at Court Square. I understand that Charlottesville aspires to achieve a semblance of metropolitan chic, but does that mean our innocent trees must suffer?—Tré Hugger A: C’est vrai, Monsieur Hugger. A couple weeks ago, as part of the Court […]

Q: Ace, I just got a parking ticket in the Water Street parking lot because I fed the meter I thought corresponded to my parking space. Turns out, that meter belonged to the Port-a-Potty that occupies the space next the space where I parked! Tell me I’m crazy, but what kind of public restroom needs […]

Q: Hey Ace, I love Charlottesville and all, but sometimes you just need to get out of town and into the real center of the universe. I’m talking about the city so nice they named it twice, New York, New York. What’s the best way to get from here to there?—Manny Hattan A: The lights, […]

Q: Ace, it seems like every structure at UVA bears the name of some wealthy, white member of The Establishment—probably the plantation owner whose slaves laid the bricks. Is the whole campus whitewashed or are there any buildings named after African Americans?—Ro Tunda A:Good question, Ro. After all, what fresh-faced undergrad hasn’t spent many ponderous […]

Q: Hey Ace, I hear that the free parking lot next to C&O was recently bought and will soon be turned into some big construction project? True?—Lots of luck A: True, Lots. The parking lot on the corner of Water and Fifth streets has been purchased and is slated for development, meaning that the final […]