There are bad movies, there are really bad movies, there are atrocities committed against the intelligence of paying crowds that call themselves movies, and then there’s The Gunman. Watching it will make you forget that movies that aren’t this bad exist at all. It’s so godawful that even calling it bad is an insult to otherwise respectable movies whose only sin is not being good, and its waste of normally excellent actors is so upsetting that I’d wager that Sean Penn and Javier Bardem returned home from filming to find their Oscars crying tears of blood.
On its surface, The Gunman is presented as 54-year-old Sean Penn’s foray into the new, sometimes glorious action subgenre of pissed off old guys killing everybody because of one really bad day. It’s a movement that has highs (The Equalizer) and lows (The Expendables 3) but shows no sign of slowing down so long as there are gravelly-voiced Academy Award winners willing to get pulpy. The strength of these movies has always been in the sparks of inspiration that fly when you put A-listers in front of the camera and gifted technicians behind, both of whom throw everything they have at a script that wasn’t necessarily written with that level of pedigree in mind. The space in which the leading man occupies in the audience’s mind is played to maximum effect; Denzel Washington’s roles are generally trustworthy, dignified and crackling with intelligence, while Liam Neeson’s characters are often world-weary and hopelessly behind the times, walking statues dedicated to their own former greatness. Stunt casting, maybe, but it guarantees that our sympathies are in the right place in order for our emotions to be taken on an exciting ride.
But holy hell, does The Gunman ever mess that winning formula up. Directed by the man responsible for this trend, Taken’s Pierre Morel, there is never even a hint of the promise shown in that genre-defining film. The film opens with Penn as Jim Terrier (ugh), a private military contractor responsible for simultaneously safeguarding non-governmental organizations (NGOs) in Congo while protecting the interests of international mining companies. Following a high-profile assassination, Jim has to flee the country and the woman he loves with no explanation. Years later, Jim is working for an NGO when he is pursued for reasons related to his former questionable activities, prompting his return to Europe to find his former squadmates and… O.K., that’s enough of that.
The first problem is that Sean Penn is not a good action star. Despite bulging with muscle in places that maybe aren’t even supposed to bulge, Penn’s intensity works in the opposite direction of his character; Penn plays Jim as determined where he needs to be desperate. The actor’s own brand of intensity does not translate into thrilling chases or combat, and more than a few supposedly brutal takedowns end up making no sense due to the shaky camera and awkward angles, possibly employed to mask poor fight choreography. Bardem sinks his teeth into the role, and would be a pleasure to watch if his character were anything other than binary. The love interest played by Jasmine Trinca is an utter waste of the award-winning Italian actress, and you’d be forgiven for forgetting that the normally memorable Idris Elba is in this movie at all.
(And while we’re at it, directors: “fuck” does not always have to be every other word out of Ray Winstone’s mouth, especially when the other ones are nearly incomprehensible.)
Capping things off is a “moral” delivered by a TV news anchor about the troubling lack of scruples in multinational corporations. It comes from out of nowhere, though Penn’s surprising co-writing credit is a likely suspect. (To borrow from Penn’s Oscar speech: “Who gave that son of a bitch script approval?”)
If you like movies and want to continue to do so, you should not, under any circumstances, see this unexciting, confusing, ugly movie that somehow features the worst possible performances by some of our generation’s greatest actors.
Playing this week
Chappie
Cinderella
The Divergent Series: Insurgent
Do You Believe?
Focus
Get Hard
Home
Kingsmen: The Secret Service
McFarland, USA
Run All Night
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Two Days, One Night
Regal Stonefield 14 and IMAX
244-3213
