“America’s Next Top Model”
Wednesday 8pm, CW
We’re down to our final six, and at this point we can call it: Cycle 10 is the best this show has been in years. That’s not to say that the girls are as pretty. In fact, Tyra selected some broke-ass bitches this time around. But jeebus, do they make for some great TV. Exhibit A: The completely delusional, hagalicious Dominique, memorably referred to by the dearly departed Claire as “a shady bitch.” Exhibit B: Whitney, the gorgeous plus-sized girl who takes fierce photos and freely admits to being kind of mean. Exhibit C: Lauren, the gawky punk girl who walks like Frankenstein and freaks out like she’s got Tourette’s. God, I love these women. But for the win I’m pushing for the least interesting girl of the lot, Katarzyna. She gets a zero for drama but a solid nine for her sexy Eastern European looks. A Final Two with her and the delightfully unintelligible Anya would be a tough call indeed.
“Law & Order”
Wednesday 10pm, NBC
Original Recipe “Law & Order” has lost a bit of its luster—as a show does over 18 seasons and four spin-offs, two of which arguably improve upon the initial formula. But it still has some gas in the tank, and there will always be fascinating new cases so long as there are salacious headlines the stories can be ripped from. In tonight’s return episode, the show says goodbye to Jesse L. Martin’s Detective Ed Green, who has been with the show nearly 10 years. Green is apparently implicated in the murder of a notorious hustler, Internal Affairs gets involved, and things get ugly. Replacing him will be Anthony Anderson, late of Fox’s cancelled N’awlins cop show “K-ville” and F/X’s corrupt cop show “The Shield.” So he knows a thing or two about walking the beat.
“Ugly Betty”
Thursday 8pm, ABC
When last we checked in with the lovable but dumpy Betty Suarez, she and her nerdy soulmate, Henry, were clinging to their adorable relationship, even as he planned to leave her to take care of the slutty ex-girlfriend pregnant with his baby. Her diva coworker Wilhelmina hatched an elaborate plan to take over the series’ central publishing company by artificially inseminating herself with the sperm of her would-be husband, the company’s owner, who died of a heart attack literally at the altar. When Wili’s womb was deemed inhospitable, she blackmailed Betty’s kindly friend into acting as her surrogate. And bitchy receptionist Amanda finally discovered that the stranger who impregnated her mother one fateful night at Studio 54 was none other than KISS frontman Gene Simmons. So many pregnancies! Can you tell it’s all based on a Latin telenovela? Undoubtedly insane, arguably the best show on TV.
