The Karate Kid
Tuesday 8pm, AMC
It tickles me that Ralph Macchio’s magnum opus is now considered an “American Movie Classic.” (Although, Species is showing on the cable channel later this week, so maybe that designation is a little more, er, flexible than I imagined.) Relive all those wonderful moments when wee Danny became the knight who would fight for your honor, the hero Elisabeth Shue had been dreaming of. Get reacquainted to the awesomeness of Mr. Miyagi and revel in one of the great performances by William Zabka, the quintessential ’80s cinema dickbag. And then buckle in for more of the same, since the sequel follows immediately after the first one wraps. The Hilary Swank spin-off The Next Karate Kid is surprisingly missing from the mini-marathon. O.K., not that surprisingly…
“Farmer Wants a Wife”
Wednesday 9pm, CW
Well, I want a hot fudge sundae. Where’s my reality show, in which 12 random barneys compete to get me one of those? I kid, but the point remains: It has come to this. A gaggle of city girls head out to the country to win the cowpie-spackled heart of a marginally attractive bohunk who also happens to be a real-life farmer. (He also happens to have a soul patch, so he may in fact be a time-traveling farmer from 1995.) The women compete in various farm-based challenges to prove their love for a man they’ve barely met. I write this up because it’s getting some watercooler buzz, and the CW is actively pimping one zaftig contestant, Josie, as America’s next great punching bag. I’m just sad that, somehow, “Joe Millionaire” is starting to look like high-concept TV.
“Brothers & Sisters”
Sunday 10pm, ABC
It seems like this sophomore drama is actively courting controversy, with two of its current storylines raising eyebrows. In one, gay brother Kevin plans to marry his on-again-off-again boyfriend, Scotty (Luke McFarlane, who just came out in real life, and is often seen palling around with “Prison Break”’s Wentworth Miller, mmhmm), so that Scotty can score some of his sweet health benefits. In the other, youngest brother Kevin and the girl he thought was his illegitimate half-sister, Rebecca, are getting ready to get it on, raising all sorts of squicky incest issues. But it turns out that his dog of an old man (played by Tom Skerritt, who will return in a flashback in the upcoming season finale, spilling yet another terrible secret he hid from his family before croaking) isn’t actually her dad, so it’s just kind of creepy instead of fully gag-worthy.
