Like a child leaving the nest, negotiating with her parents for more autonomy, UVA is seeing that increased independence also means a stingier Daddy State-bucks. The Commonwealth fell short in its budget this year, and most state agencies are seeing cuts at around 5 percent. But UVA, as a school that has restructured its relationship with the state, will see a 7.5 percent cut in state funding, which translates into $11.4 million.
Colette Sheehy, UVA’s vice president for management and budget, says that UVA has until September 10 to submit plans for trimming the $11 million, which will likely be a combination of cuts and some reserve spending.
"We were warned of it several months ago," says Sheehy. "It was a little hard to gauge how serious that would be. It’s hard to take some permanent cuts this year, since your faculty is hired and your services are in motion."
Only 9 percent of UVA’s revenue comes from the state, and $11.4 million is a mere 0.5 percent of the $2.1 billion budget. Presumably the University doesn’t want to start dipping into the money it has raised as part of the $3 billion capital campaign, so to help UVA get its thinking cap straight, C-VILLE came up with a few ideas for filling the gap.
Host a car wash. Why wouldn’t the classic high school deus ex machina work for the nation’s No. 2 public university? A topless former Marine, Leonard Sandridge, could provide the eye candy, while Larry Sabato could use his mustache as a chamois.
Turn the Lawn into a B&B. Kick out all those whiney upperclassmen who don’t seem to appreciate the value of fundraising and give wealthy alumni the thrill of walking outside to shower in front of gawking tourists.
Impose bad music fees. Taking a page from the Commonwealth’s transportation plan, UVA could levy $1,000 fines on frats for reckless Bon Jovi playing or $2,400 fines for deejaying while impaired.
Gut the Rotunda for a yard sale. There’s got to be something of value in there.
Send Frank Batten an early Christmas card. After he donated $100 million all at once, what’s a mere $11 mil?
Sell Thomas Jefferson’s baseball card collection. Mama Cav found it gathering dust in the basement of Old Cabell Hall and was going to throw it out anyway.
Raffle a chance to coach the football team against Duke. Give that rabid Wahoo fan a thrill of a lifetime and a guaranteed win. Actually, Al Groh really needs that one for his record. But he might be willing to sit out the Virginia Tech game.
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