“Puppy Bowl V”
Sunday 5pm, Animal Planet
“Puppy Bowl” is counterprogramming to the “Super Bowl,” which I basically refuse to write about. You all know it’s happening (Sunday at 6pm on NBC), you all know who’s playing (Steelers versus Cardinals), and I have nothing to add to the conversation that the cadre of useless sports commentators won’t cover in the next week. So I choose to tell the people who don’t want to waste four hours of their lives watching grown men get paid millions of dollars to run around with a ball that instead they can waste hours of their lives watching puppies being adorable for free. The choice is pretty clear.
“The Office”
Sunday after the Super Bowl, NBC
Season 5 of “The Office” has been a mixed bag. Some of it has been wonderful, like the Dwight/Andy/Angela triangle that recently came to a head with the most satisfying low-speed Prius attack in history. But several seemingly important plotlines were completely dropped—Pam’s art school career, Jan’s baby, Holly and Michael—and some of the writing has frankly been lazy. (See: the uninspired Christmas episode). Still, it’s NBC’s biggest buzz show, and so it has been given the post-Super Bowl berth with a special guest star-packed episode (Jack Black! Jessica Alba! Cloris Leachman!) and a storyline that sounds promising. Dwight terrifies the office with his fire safety seminar, and Michael discovers that he is the leading stressor in the branch. Rather than deal with it maturely, he organizes a no-holds-barred roast of himself. It’s like the Dundees in reverse. I feel a lot of awkward resentment in this Chili’s tonight…
“RuPaul’s Drag Race”
Monday 10pm, Logo
I feel like my entire reality TV-watching life has been building towards this moment. After years of “Top Model” and “Project Runway,” I wondered, Why don’t we have a competition to determine America’s next top drag queen? And why wouldn’t it be hosted by RuPaul? Our great gay god must have heard my supplications because, voila! Starting this week we have RuPaul’s “Drag Race,” featuring the ’90s drag icon as host/judge, her male self as mentor to the girls, and “Runway”’s Santino Rice as a panelist. The nine competitors are varying degrees of busted, and I’m disappointed by the unimaginative names. (Tammie Brown? Victoria Parker? Nina Flowers? Come on! At least we’ve got Rebecca Glasscock.) But I’m confident that a gaggle of boys who dress like girls packed into a house will inevitably produce enough drama and fabulousness to keep me satisfied. And I cannot wait until the elimination ceremonies, in which the final two ladies must lip synch for their lives. Say it with me: sashay, shante!
