Real lives affected

Putting aside philosophy, Virginia’s proposed marriage amendment is designed to limit the rights available to a real group of people living in the state. Gay-rights groups estimate there are nearly 14,000 same-sex couples in Virginia.
    “I think it’s unconscionable—that’s the word that keeps coming to mind,” says Charlotte Patterson, a professor of psychology at UVA who’s lived in Virginia since 1975. She and her partner, Deborah Cohn, have been together 25 years now, and have three children: twin 9-year-olds and a 13-year old. Patterson assumes the amendment’s intention is “to make gay people feel less comfortable and less happy in Virginia.”
    “I would like to see Virginia leading the nation, not dragging at the very back of the parade, fighting over who ought to have fewer rights than others,” says Patterson. To restrict liberties in the Bill of Rights, as the amendment would do, “would be a truly shameful thing to do to our Constitution.”
    Because she and her partner are not married, family health insurance and other benefits are not available to them through the University. “In our family we have bought private health insurance, but not every family is able to do that. I think it’s an outrage.”
    And their children are obviously a concern. “We have custody agreements and guardianship nominations that might be called into question. These things directly affect children’s welfare.
    “Who wouldn’t rather think their parents were married than not? Because the State denies that option to our family, we have to talk about why that’s the case and that there are people who don’t understand about our family,” Patterson says. “For most kids, it’s part of their sense of security in the world, that my family will be here to protect me and to help me grow up and to love me and to take care of me. It feels like a kind of permanence to children that is good for them.”
    Patterson sees Charlottesville as a supportive community, but if the amendment passes, will she leave Virginia? “I think it poses a question for all of us who are not heterosexual, whose rights would be abridged by such an amendment, whether to leave for greener pastures or stay and fight,” she says. “I have some friends who are long departed over issues of this sort. I know others who are staying to join the battle. So I think each person is going to make their decision after the election, just as we have after previous elections.
    “Speaking for myself, I would love to be married if we could. I trust that someday that will be possible, even in Virginia.”