Movies playing in town
27 Dresses (PG-13, 107 minutes) Jane (Katherine Heigl) is always a bridesmaid never a bride. Literally. She’s served as bridesmaid at 27 weddings. Now she’s being forced to do the duty at her own sister’s wedding. The worst part? Sis is marrying the man (Ed Burns) that Jane secretly loves. Yes, that is the heavy odor of well-recycled “chick flick” you smell. Full review here. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Alvin and the Chipmunks (PG, 92 minutes) Mere months after showing up in Underdog, Jason Lee signs on for yet another CGI decimation of a beloved childhood cartoon. Here he plays David Seville, adoptive "father" to three singing chipmunks. This was probably better left to the imagination, but little kids will laugh at the cute animals and occasional bouts of rude humor. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Atonement (R, 130 minutes) Ian McEwan’s novel comes to life in an epic and sweeping romance courtesy of director Joe Wright (2005’s Pride & Prejudice). In 1935 England, 13-year-old Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) spins a lie that breaks up the budding love affair between her older sister (Keira Knightley) and a handsome groundskeeper (James McAvoy). Five years later, the repercussions of that lie are still being felt as war rages in Europe. Will our lovers be reunited? Will Briony find forgiveness? Rich in morality, emotion and metaphysical depth, this weighty drama manages to combine love and war in one gorgeously assembled package. Playing Regal Downtown Mall 6
The Bucket List (PG-13, 97 minutes) Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman star as (basically) Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in this feel-good Hallmark card comedy/drama about two old dudes dying of cancer who decide to realize their “Things to Do Before We Kick the Bucket” list. They go on safari, skydive, drive racecars, etc. It’s kind of fun to see Nicholson and Freeman having fun, but the film is a cruise-control tearjerker, pushing all the preordained buttons of the genre. Crowds will probably respond, however, right down to the patented Wise Old Morgan Freeman-Brand narration. Full review here. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Cloverfield (PG-13, 84 minutes) While intimate details remain under a cloak of secrecy, this J.J. Abrams-produced sci-fi thriller does revolve around a giant monster attack upon the city of New York. A small group of people, gathered together for a friend’s goodbye party, capture the events through the lens of their camcorder, Blair Witch-style. Carmike Cinema 6
The Eye (PG-13, 100 minutes) This Americanized remake of the Pang brothers’ 2002 Taiwanese horror hit finds blind gal Jessica Alba on the receiving end of a cornea transplant. Miraculously, she regains the ability to see. Unfortunately, her new eyes give her the ability to see ghosts. That’s what you get for settling on a pair of used eyes. Playing at Regal Seminole Square 4
First Sunday (PG-13, 98 minutes) Ice Cube, graduating somewhat from his dull string of family films (Are We Done Yet?), teams up with “30 Rock” nutball Tracy Morgan to wreak some stereotype-heavy mayhem. Cube and Morgan are a couple of hapless criminals sentenced to a stint in community service. While working at a local church, they come up with a scheme to rob the joint. Things don’t turn out quite the way they planned, of course, leading to a predictable change of heart. Comic Katt Williams contributes a memorably weird role as the church’s choir director. Carmike Cinema 6
Fool’s Gold (PG-13, 110 minutes) An estranged couple’s sense of adventure is rekindled when treasure-hunting hubby (Matthew McConaughey, finding a valid excuse to act without a shirt) discovers the possible whereabouts of a fortune in sunken gold. Naturally, he drags along his doubting ex (Kate Hudson, in no apparent hurry to land another Oscar nomination). Think Romancing the Stone with a bad case of swimmer’s ear. Opening Friday; check local listings
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (G, 74 minutes) OMG! Tween goddess Miley Cyrus and her Disney Channel alter ego, Hannah Montana, sing their biggest hits on screen! In 3-D! Whether or not this actually counts as the “best” depends largely on gender and age. If you’re a girl under the age of 12, you’ll probably be there screaming along. Did I mention the Jonas Brothers will be performing as well? Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Juno (PG-13, 91 minutes) A labor of love from stripper-turned-writer Diablo Cody (author of Candy Girl) and director Jason Reitman (Thank You for Smoking), this sweet, smart and very funny flick easily earns a spot as one of the best films of the year. Snarky, cynical 16-year-old Juno (Ellen Page, Hard Candy) gets pregnant after a bout of boredom-induced sex with her best friend Bleeker (Michael Cera from Superbad). Ruling out abortion, Juno decides to have the kid and give it away to "some lady with a bum ovary or a couple nice lesbos." The pitch-perfect dialogue, the lo-fi soundtrack, the spectacular cast and the perceptive story make this the cult comedy to beat. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Meet the Spartans (PG-13, 84 minutes) Didn’t I declare a fatwa on anyone who dared to make another stupid Airplane-style spoof after last year’s Epic Movie? As usual, no on in Hollywood was listening to me, because here’s another one from the same idiots who gave us Scary Movie, Date Movie and Epic Movie. It expends most of its energy making fun of 300, with a couple digs left over for random stuff like Ghost Rider, Happy Feet and “Ugly Betty.” Whatever. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (PG, 124 minutes) After the first, frantic, largely nonsensical National Treasure raked in a ton of dough at the box office, we were guaranteed a return visit from Nic Cage and his Indiana Jones-ish historian. This time around, he’s trying to discover the truth about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln by figuring out the mystery behind the missing pages from John Wilkes Booth’s diary. Naturally, this involves lots of crazy clues, some Tomb Raider-inspired traps and a United States map. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
No Country For Old Men (R, 121 minutes) The Coen brothers bring a touch of Fargo to West Texas with this gripping adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s offbeat crime novel. Josh Brolin (Grindhouse) is a humble welder who stumbles across $2 million from a drug deal gone bad. Javier Bardem (The Sea Inside) is the freaky, emotionless assassin sent to recover the cash. Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive) is the small-town sheriff just trying to figure out what the hell is going on. This one is darker and more serious than most Coen films, but there’s still plenty of priceless dialogue and sharp black humor on display. One of this year’s best. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Over Her Dead Body (PG-13, 95 minutes) Reviewed here.
Rambo (R, 93 minutes) What the world needs now is a 62-year-old action hero pumped full of HGH. Not to worry, Sylvester Stallone is here to fit that bill, pulling his John Rambo character out of its Reagan-era mothballs. This time around, Rambo has been hired to locate a group of Christian aid workers who have gone missing in the Burmese jungle, violently exterminating anyone who gets in his way. Written and directed by Sly himself. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Strange Wilderness (R) Here’s the rule of thumb: Any film produced by Adam Sandler, that does not actually star Adam Sandler (Grandma’s Boy, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star, The Hot Chick, The Master of Disguise, The Animal) sucks. This film, for example, was produced by Sandler. In it, a bunch of idiots (including Steve Zahn and Jonah Hill) try to pump up ratings for their inept wildlife show by going in search of Bigfoot. If you are not stoned while watching this movie, you will not laugh. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
There Will Be Blood (R, 158 minutes) Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights, Magnolia) ditches his ensemble style to (loosely and magnificently) adapt an obscure Upton Sinclair novel. Daniel Day-Lewis eats up the screen as Daniel Plainview, a scrappy misanthrope who builds an oil empire with his bare hands in turn-of-the-last-century Texas. Like Citizen Kane and Giant before it, this is epic American mythmaking. Unlikable as he may be, Plainview is an icon. There Will Be Blood follows him throughout the decades as he amasses his fortune, adopts a son, founds a town and makes an enemy of the church. A gritty, roughnecked portrait of American industry, religion and politics. Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre
Untraceable (R, 100 minutes) “NYPD Blue”/”Hill Street Blues” producer Gregory Hoblit directs this far-fetched thriller about a sexy FBI agent (Diane Lane) tasked with hunting down a cyber serial killer who kidnaps people and hooks them up to elaborate torture machines that will kill them faster depending on how many people log on to his “untraceable” snuff website. It’s meant to be an indictment of America’s violent popular culture, but it’s mostly just another dumb slasher film with a slight Internet-age twist. Full review here. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins (PG-13, 114 minutes) Martin Lawrence stars as Roscoe, a successful Los Angeles talk show host who reluctantly returns to his rural roots in the Deep South for a family reunion. James Earl Jones, Mike Epps, Cedric the Entertainer and Mo’Nique are among the relatives he’s trying to avoid. In the end, you can be sure lessons are learned. Opening Friday; check local listings
