Film Reviews

The Black Dahlia
R, 119 minutes
Now playing at Seminole Square
Cinema 4

Over half a century after she was murdered, Betty Short continues to fascinate us. She’s become a screen upon which we project our hopes and fears about fame and fortune, beauty and lust, art and commerce, and that place where it all comes together, Hollywood. A would-be movie actress, Short didn’t attract the public’s attention until she was found in a vacant lot, her mutilated body drained of blood and severed at the waist, her face slit ear to ear in a hideous grin. Adding insult to injury, the killer had posed her like a pin-up girl, legs spread and one arm raised over her head. And in a sick kind of way, he made her a star. Dominating the headlines, Short was soon dubbed “The Black Dahlia” (the name derived from The Blue Dahlia, a movie that had come out the year before, written by that auteur de film noir, Raymond Chandler). Alas, Betty Short was dead before she could become a femme fatale.
    But we weren’t through with her yet. In the intervening years, at least a dozen books have been written about the still-unsolved case, including two in which the authors pointed the finger at their own fathers. And now here’s The Black Dahlia, Brian De Palma’s lurid movie version of James Ellroy’s 1987 novel, which solved the murder by introducing fictional bad guys (and girls) worthy of such a heinous crime. Known for his muscular prose, Ellroy had lost his own mother in a never-solved case of rape-murder when he was 9 years old. And his novel can be read as a J’accuse to the entire city of Los Angeles, that pungent cesspool of sleaze and corruption. Chandler and the other noir scribes had exposed the seedy underbelly of L.A.’s orange-grove Eden. But Ellroy turned the town upside down—in his L.A., everybody was on the make, everybody was getting screwed. In fact, just living there was murder.
    The novel packs a wallop, featuring a pair of former boxers who’ve wound up in the Los Angeles Police Department, serving and protecting their own interests. But the movie, I’m sorry to say, is a disaster—an enjoyable disaster, often, but a disaster nonetheless. It opens with the infamous Zoot Suit Riots, in which America’s soldiers and sailors, having fought so valiantly in World War II, decided to clear the streets of anyone whose ethnic heritage happened to differ from their own. And De Palma stages it like an MGM musical, with each vicious blow as choreographed as a Gene Kelly ballet. And why not? Ellroy’s novel isn’t exactly kitchen-sink realism. The artifice just keeps coming, though, as if De Palma were winking at us, while only pretending to take the whole thing seriously. The movie isn’t set in the ‘40s, it’s set in “the ‘40s”—that movie-stuffed time capsule buried in some long-abandoned studio backlot.
    Unfortunately, the actors don’t inhabit “the ‘40s” (or even the ‘40s). Josh Hartnett, for reasons understood only by the casting director, plays Bucky Bleichert, L.A.’s version of a good man. (He only lies, cheats and steals when he has to.) But Hartnett, with those sleepy eyes, seems almost incapable of summoning up the moral depravity required by the movie—it’s a classic case of a boy being sent to do a man’s job. And Aaron Eckhart, as Bleichert’s bulldozing partner, Lee Blanchert, is even worse, if only because the role clearly calls for Russell Crowe. Assigned to the Dahlia case, Bleichert and Blanchert seem more concerned with Kay Lake (Scarlett Johannson), a Lana Turner type whom Blanchert has known for a while, and Bleichert would like to know better. Then Hilary Swank shows up as Madeleine Linscott, a poor little rich girl who had a thing for—and perhaps a fling with—Betty Short. Yes it’s the sort of place where mysterious women abound, and all of them drive the men crazy.
    One can easily imagine De Palma (Carrie, Scarface, etc.) going to town on this material—the feverish sex, the mutilated corpse, the mental derangement. And he does pull off a couple of cinematic set-pieces that will take their rightful place in his career-highlights reel. But the movie’s close to an incoherent mess, scriptwriter Josh Friedman having failed to whittle Ellroy’s mound of pulp down to size. (It takes several scenes to sweep up all the plot shavings.) Luckily, there’s plenty to watch as the movie spins more and more out of control, including an over-the-top, around-the-back and through-the-legs performance by Fiona Shaw as a society matron unhinged by all the California sunshine. Shaw’s gothic gargoyle is a total hoot, but it’s at the expense of a movie that might have helped us understand that sprawling hallucination known as the City of Angels. But, by the end, a thick layer of smog has settled over everything.

All the King’s Men (PG-13, 120 minutes) Robert Penn Warren’s classic novel (filmed once before in 1949 with Broderick Crawford and John Ireland) returns to the big screen with a brand new, all-star cast. Based loosely on the life of Governor Huey Long of Louisiana, the film follows the rise and fall of populist political animal Willie Stark (Sean Penn). Though our politician is a self-described “hick,” he isn’t above playing dirty—a tactic that causes much consternation in his right-hand man (played by Jude Law). Kate Winslet, Patricia Clarkson, James Gandolfini, Mark Ruffalo and Anthony Hopkins round out the credits. (Devin D. O’Leary) Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4

Confetti (R, 100 minutes) This indie mockumentary out of England follows three couples as they battle it out to win the coveted title of “Most Original Wedding of the Year.” Which will it be: the all-singing/all-dancing wedding, the nudist wedding or the tennis-themed nuptials? The improvised dialogue hits some high notes, even as the film finds the dramatic trauma at the heart of the wedding biz. (D.O.) Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre

The Covenant (PG-13, 97 minutes) Once a Hollywood player (Die Hard 2, Cliffhanger), now a bit of a pariah (Cutthroat Island, Mindhunters), Finnish director Renny Harlin tries his hand at cheap teen horror. In this modestly budgeted supernatural thriller, four teens are bestowed with ancient mystical powers by their families. In the process, they accidentally unleash an otherworldly evil force and are charged with hunting it down. It’s basically The Craft, only with hot boys instead of hot girls. Adapted from the graphic novel by Aron Coleite and Tone Rodriguez. (D.O.) Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

Crank (R, 83 minutes) British tough Jason Statham (The Transporter) stars in this action thriller as a hit man who learns he has been injected with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops below below a certain rate. So basically, it’s Speed on a … well, on foot. Oddball cast includes Efren Ramirez (Napoleon Dynamite), Amy Smart (Varsity Blues) and Dwight Yoakam. The action is rough and the film (fortunately) doesn’t take itself too seriously. (D.O.) Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

Everyone’s Hero (G, 88 minutes) Weeks after we’ve all suffered CGI toon burnout comes yet another CGI toon. This one’s an adventu
re comedy about a young boy who goes on a 1,000-mile quest (with a talking baseball, no less) to rescue Babe Ruth’s stolen bat. Brain Dennehy, Whoopi Goldberg, Ed Helms, William H. Macy, Raven Symone and Rob Reiner are among the not-terribly-exciting voice cast. (D.O.) Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4

Feast (R, 88 minutes) Director John Gulager’s long-awaited film from season three of “Project Greenlight” finally hits theaters. Sort of. Dimension is doing a late-night-only screening this weekend in anticipation of the film’s upcoming DVD release. This is your only chance to catch this monster movie/reality show project in a theater, so act fast. If you’re into slobbing creatures eating a random assortment of patrons stuck in an isolated desert bar, then this is the horror comedy for you. (D.O.) Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

Flyboys (PG-13, 139 minutes) This resolutely old-fashioned, airborne action flick takes us back to the days of World War I where we get to watch cute young stud James Franco (Spider-Man) join up with the famed Lafayette Escadrille to fight the evil Red Baron (just like Snoopy). The film mixes every war movie cliché together with some state-of-the-art CGI. At least the WWI dogfights look impressive (if you’re into WWI dogfights). Plus, it features copious use of the word “fokker.” (D.O.) Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

Gridiron Gang (PG-13, 126 minutes) Wrestlin’ thespian The Rock finally finds a project worth being passionate about with this inspirational sports drama. Rock plays Sean Porter, a real-life counselor at California juvenile detention facility. Tired of seeing the near-perfect recidivism rate, Porter tries an alternative approach, forming a high school football team from among his ragtag gangbangers. The “root for the underdogs” stuff is all standard-issue, but director Phil Joanou (U2: Rattle and Hum) lends some visual polish. (D.O.) Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

The Guardian (PG-13, 136 minutes) Until now, Hollywood hasn’t given the Coast Guard the same sort of love it has extended to Marines or firemen or cops or Russian hit men. There just aren’t a lot of Coast Guard-based action films. Now, Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher are here to rectify the situation. Costner takes over the “gruff older instructor with an emotionally scarred background,” leaving Kutcher to play the “cocky but hunky new recruit with a lesson to learn.” The Guardian does a good job of showing how dangerous the jobs of Coast Guard rescue swimmers actually are, but at 136 minutes, Costner and Kutcher spend a little too much time sitting around and chatting. (D.O.) Coming Friday; check local listings.

Heading South (NR, 105 minutes) Still-hot 60-year-old Charlotte Rampling stars in this naughty Euro version of How Stella Got her Groove Back. Rampling is a tourist who ends up in 1970s Haiti with a couple girlfriends looking for some fun in the sun. They find it amid the handsome native boys who are more than happy to indulge the foreigners’ carnal desires for a few bucks. Trouble sets in, however, when two of our tourists set their sights on one man. Issues of love, sex, loneliness, commerce and post-colonial power abound in this lovely think-piece from French director Laurent Cantet (Time Out, Human Resources). (D.O.) Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre

Hollywoodland (R, 126 minutes) This noirish investigation into the circumstances surrounding the death of TV-Superman George Reeves (Ben Affleck) explores the price of fame—that long, sad walk down the boulevard of broken dreams. Affleck does a creditable job impersonating the rather flabby Man of Steel, and Diane Lane is equally effective as the studio executive’s wife who took Reeves under her wing, but the movie itself seems less hardboiled than over easy, lacking a true tragic dimension. (Kent Williams) Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

The Illusionist (PG-13, 110 minutes) Edward Norton stars as a magician who, because of his apparent supernatural powers, becomes a threat to the Hapsburg empire in fin-de-siècle Vienna. The movie’s a love triangle that’s supposed to stir our passions, but it doesn’t quite get the job done, partly because Norton lacks hypnotic appeal and partly because the whole thing seems to be taking place inside a cardboard box. (K.W.) Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

Jackass Number Two (PG-13, 103 minutes) Sigh… Yes. They made a second one. Teenagers who love to pour hot sauce in their eyes, jump off buildings and kick each other in the nuts are super friggin’ stoked! Everyone else simply continues to mourn the slow, steady death of civilization. (D.O.) Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

Jet Li’s Fearless (PG-13, 103 minutes) Allegedly Jet Li’s final martial arts film (say it ain’t so, Jet!), this historical kung fu film was a major hit in its native China. Li plays the legendary Chinese martial arts hero Master Huo Yuanjia, the founder and spiritual guru of the Jin Wu sports federation (basically, the first organization to pit fighters agaisnt one another in one-on-one bouts). It ain’t a whole lot different than his other historical fight films (like Once Upon a Time in China) But the occassionally witty fight choreography keeps things punchy. (D.O.) Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

The Last Kiss (R, 104 minutes) TV’s Zach Braff stars in this remake of the 2001 Italian comic drama of the same name. Braff plays a 30-something dude who knocks up his girlfriend (Jacinda Barrett) and can’t decide whether or not to marry her—even with the meddling help of parents and friends. (D.O.) Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Little Miss Sunshine (R, 100 minutes) This pitch-black comedy features a strong cast (Greg Kinnear, Toni Collette,  Steve Carell) in the story of a downwardly mobile Albuquerque family that can’t win for losing. Although the filmmakers sometimes press too hard on their theme about the hollowness of the American Dream, the movie often achieves a light, farcical tone that’s touchingly at odds with the mood everybody’s in. (K.W.) Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

Open Season (PG, 99 minutes) Wow, Ashton Kutcher fans are certainly like pigs rolling in filth this week. Between this and The Guardian, there are two Kutcher films in which to wallow. Frankly, it seems like overkill—not unlike the dogpile of computer-animated animal movies we’ve been subjected to this summer. Here, Kutcher plays a cartoon deer who helps a domesticated grizzly bear (voiced by Martin Lawrence) to survive in the wild. Only complication: Hunting season starts in three days! (D.O.) Coming Friday; check local listings

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (PG-13, 150 minutes) Call it a nasty case of sequelitis, but this second installment in the Disney theme-park franchise is bigger, louder and absolutely dete
rmined to entertain. The action sequences more or less work, but the smaller, goofier moments come up short, and that includes Johnny Depp’s surprisingly unsurprising performance as Captain Jack Sparrow. (K.W.) Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6

The Protector (R, 109 minutes) Tony Jaa, the martial arts jaw-dropper from Ong-Bak returns in this Thailand-based action flick. Like Ong-Bak, the plot is a mere excuse for tons of bruising Muay Thai fisticuffs. In this one, Jaa plays a young Thai villager who must travel to Australia to retrieve a sacred elephant from some evil kidnappers. A little bit of a retread, but—man-oh-man—can that Tony Jaa kick some ass! In English, Thai, Mandarin and Vietnamese with English subtitles. (D.O.) Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

School for Scoundrels (PG-13, 97 minutes) Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) plays Roger, a moveless, grooveless young meter maid who signs up for a class in how to seduce women. There, he meets the devious Dr. P (Billy Bob Thornton), who helps our dorky hero and his fellow misfits unleash their inner cad. Unfortunately, Roger soon finds himself competing in a battle of wits against the underhanded Dr. P, who has taken a shine to the object of Roger’s affections (Jacinda Barrett from The Last Kiss). From writer/director Todd Phillips, who gave us Road Trip and Old School. (D.O.) Coming Friday; check local listings

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (PG-13, 100 minutes) Will Ferrell drags a bunch of pals  (John C. Reilly, Michael Clarke Duncan, Gary Cole, Sacha Baron Cohen) along for this goofball riff on NASCAR culture. Ferrell stars as a rebel NASCAR driver who suddenly faces stiff competition from a flamboyant French Formula-1 driver (Cohen from “Da Ali G Show”). There’s a continuing feeling that Farrell and friends are just making this thing up as they go along, but that doesn’t stop it form beeing quite funny on occasion. If you liked Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, you’ll be in good hands here, becasue it’s largely the same movie. (D.O.) Playing at Carmike Cinema 6

The Wicker Man (PG-13, 106 minutes) Nicolas Cage stars in this remake of the underrated 1973 British chiller. Cage is a cop investigating the disappearance of a young girl on a remote island where mysterious pagan practices still rule. The film updates the original story quite a bit, but piles on even more creepy atmosphere. Neil LaBute (The Shape of Things, Your Friends & Neighbors) writes and directs. (D.O.) Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6