“51st Annual Grammy Awards”
Sunday 8pm, CBS
I actually like most of the Grammy nominees this time around. It’s a tough call for Record of the Year; I’d be pleased if it went to soulful British chanteuse Adele for “Chasing Pavements,” Coldplay for the sublime “Viva la Vida,” or M.I.A.’s undeniable “Paper Planes.” I’m still flummoxed by Lil Wayne’s popularity—his stuff does nothing for me, and that voice, yikes—but in general it’s a pretty decent crop of musicians. Live performers for the night include Paul McCartney, T.I. and Justin Timberlake, Kenny Chesney, Katy Perry (atrocious live), the Jonas Brothers (ugh), and a rare televised performance by Radiohead. Should be an interesting show.
“XIII: The Conspiracy”
Sunday 9pm, NBC
Oh, Val Kilmer. From Batman to voicing the car in the terrible remake of “Knight Rider” to a supporting role to Stephen Dorff in this TV mini-series. But hey, I guess it’s work. “XIII” is an adaptation of a comic book that was then adapted into a videogame. The story concerns a man (Dorff) who wakes up in a forest with no memory of who he is; all he knows is that he has “XIII” tattooed on his body. He soon finds himself chased by The Mongoose (Kilmer) and discovers that he’s part of something called the XX Conspiracy, which aims to stage a coup in the U.S. And since the conspiracy assassinated the President a few months back, looks like they’ve got a head start.
“Tool Academy”
Sunday 10pm, VH1
“Tool Academy” has a simple conceit: beleaguered women bring their terrible boyfriends to a school designed to make them less tool-ish. So far, the men have learned about communication, fidelity and humility, and viewers have learned how many times the term “dude” can be used in one sentence. Notable tools still left in the game include “Naked Tool,” who likes to run around in nothing but “man panties” and has given himself the nickname Matsuflex; “Tiny Tool” Josh, who had to wear a bulletproof vest in order to confess to his zaftig girlfriend that he makes fun of her weight; and “Loud Mouth Tool” Shawn, who started the show with one girlfriend, but then swapped her out for his actual girlfriend of six years, whom he had been cheating on for seven months with the other girl. Amazing!
