“The Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular”
Wednesday 8pm, CBS
This is a tough one. After 35 years, Bob Barker is cashing in his Plinko chips and retiring from hosting the greatest game show ever, “The Price is Right.” Sad. Thankfully CBS recognizes this momentous occasion (or, from a cynic’s point of view, wants to squeeze a few more bucks from the show before it gets run into the ground by the no-name new host) and fetes the noted animal lover with two specials this week. The “Million Dollar Spectacular” features bigger prizes, including a chance to spin the big wheel for $1 million. On Thursday night Barker reflects on his history with the show and screens some of his favorite clips. Please let one of them be that lady in the tube top whose chicken dinners totally pop out. You can’t put a price on that one, Bob.
“A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Caged”
Friday 9pm, CBS
Dr. Phil ventures dangerously close to “Dateline NBC” territory as he conducts a jailhouse interview with a man accused of aggravated child abuse for allegedly locking his 6-year-old son in a room for three years. You know Stone Phillips would kill for this shit. In addition to the accused father, Phil chats with his also-imprisoned wife and two of the boy’s siblings, one of whom claims his father is innocent while the other cries monster. Can Dr. Phil get to the bottom of it all? I must say, I’m confused; I thought Dr. Phil was a shrink, not Matlock. Last year he was helping Paula Abdul land a man and now he’s ferreting out the truth of a complicated criminal case. Is there anything the man cannot do? Other than shut the hell up already?
“National Bingo Night”
Friday 9pm, ABC
ABC is expecting this to be huge, and given America’s obsession with screaming things and winning tons of money for doing nothing, it’s a pretty sure bet. As the title suggests, the show is a national game of bingo, where folks can play along at home by printing out bingo cards from abc.com and then freak out along with the studio audience as huge, numbered balls get plucked from an even more huge bingo cage. The audience participation bit is brilliant, but can’t people just go play bingo at a church and deal with actual, real human beings? Is it that much of a hassle? This is how “The Matrix” started, people.
