"Big Brother"
Tuesday, Thursday & Sunday 8pm, CBS
I am deeply embarrassed to admit this, but I have become a "Big Brother" addict. Shame! "BB" is easily the worst reality that TV has to offer; even the production values are low rent. However! This season has entranced me for the following reasons: 1. Evel Dick, a raging sexist, homophobic, racist scumbag. In other words, he makes for riveting television. Although he’ll likely be evicted by the time you read this, he’ll go down as a legend of reality TV douchery. 2. The fact that America hates "America’s Player," Eric. Each week, Eric is secretly given several tasks to do based on the wishes of the voting public. And every week America chooses the option that screws Eric the worst. Hilarious! 3. The glory of Amber. Each episode, the waitress/single mother/recovering drug addict breaks down in new, more exciting ways. She cries. She screams. She pouts. But mostly she cries. About nothing. About everything! Amber is amazing, like watching an infant in a grown woman’s body. I simultaneously loathe and covet her. Like this show. I feel so dirty!
"2007 Teen Choice Awards"
Sunday 8pm, Fox
I’m not sure why we should give teens the choice to do anything. I mean, I’m pretty sure they’re responsible for Sean Kingston having the No. 1 song in the country, so clearly they cannot be trusted. But apparently their mewling voices are not being appreciated by us old fogies, so Fox has given them their own awards show in which trophies—excuse me, custom surfboards—are given out for various categories including Choice Sidekick, Choice Athlete, and Choice Chemistry. Hosted by Hilary Duff and the egregiously annoying Nick Cannon, with performances by Kelly Clarkson and the egregiously fake Avril Lavigne. And somehow it’s still less obnoxious than what the MTV awards shows have become.
"Chelsea Lately"
Weeknights 11:30pm, E!
Poor Chelsea Handler has been trying so hard to make this Hollywood thing happen. The comedian had a short-lived sketch show, starred in an Oxygen sitcom, worked as a talking head on various VH-1 shows and notably had the sense to bail on (or was fired from) Fox’s disastrous "On the Lot" after just one week. Now she’s got her own late-night talk show on E! It’s…O.K. She’s got a ways to go before she’s a Letterman or a Conan, but she’s infinitely more likable than those tools Leno or Kimmel. It’s pretty basic stuff: Chelsea skewers news and pop culture stories of the day, does various skits and bits with public interaction and interviews Z-list celebs. But I like Handler, and I like the idea of a woman having a late-night talk show even more, so check it out.
