Say my name

—Mutt Bones A: Purrrfect! Ace has had enough of these doggone questions about who’s building what where and why those things are over there when they used to be somewhere else. Thanks, Mutt, for a question that makes Ace’s hind leg wiggle.  The first consideration when naming a furry companion is species. For example, Mutt, […]

Track meet

Fans of “The Simpsons” might remember that classic fourth-season episode, “Marge versus the Monorail,” in which a smooth-talking stranger convinces the animated folks of Springfield to build an electric monorail. The cartoon huckster absconds with the town’s money moments before the shoddy contraption goes haywire, to hilarious results.  I thought of the episode when I […]

Green acres

—Sierra Clubbed A: Ah, Sierra. Ace, proud American that he is, adheres to popular national slogans such as “bigger is better,” “richer is better” and “thinner is better.” Thus, had higher-ups in the office not challenged Ace’s wisdom, Ace would just have soon assumed that “greener is better” too.  As with all mortals, assumptions make […]

Wal-Mart’s everyday low wages

When Melissa Howard joined the Wal-Mart store in New Castle, Indiana, in 1992, she received a blue vest, a red, white and blue nametag, six bucks an hour, and the title of “electronics department manager.” Howard hoped to climb the corporate ladder, accept greater responsibility and take home a fatter paycheck.  So she worked diligently […]

Webster’s linktionary

—Mid L. Rhode A: Well, color me red-white-and-blue, Mid, this is news to Ace! Ace thought that since the PATRIOT Act started allowing Baby Atkins’ weekly Frog and Toad selections to be monitored, librarians weren’t inclined to risk their tortoise-shell frames disseminating information of any sort. But first, a side note. It was recently announced that […]

Man on a mission

Charlottesville Police Chief Timothy Longo Sr. is no slave overseer. But he knows the specter of the slave patrol colors the way some people see police officers.  In early September, Longo addressed about 15 people attending this fall’s Citizens Police Academy. The annual 10-session class trains neighborhood residents in the basics of police work. In […]

Substandards of learning

—Wyclef Pawn A: Well, Wyclef, as we all know, this little old One-Nation-Under-God is doing its damndest to make sure that no Miss Nelson is missing and every little Mohammad and Jesus can “See Spot run.”  And, if you’ve noticed our fresh-off-the-boat Somali Bantu refugees wandering down Preston looking a little dazed and confused, then […]

Charter bust

For nearly three years, the tenacious Jan Cornell has been the backbone of the Staff Union at UVA (SUUVA). Taking on the region’s largest employer as the only full-time member of SUUVA is taking its toll on her, though. As alarmed workers look to Cornell to explain the school’s quest for charter status, will she […]

Chain of demand

—Donna Bummer A: Hate to break it to you Donna, but the old “she’s working hard for the money, so you better treat her right” philosophy just doesn’t cut it on the boardroom floor. Such is the case here.  First, some background. The deal is that during UVA’s home football and basketball games, local nonprofits […]

All the news that’s fit to gag

www.alternet.org In Minot, North Dakota, in 2002, a train derailed at 1:30am spilling 200,000 gallons of deadly gas. All six commercial radio stations in the area were owned by Clear Channel, and all six were fully automated. As a result, the stations weren’t switched over to the emergency broadcasting frequency and the news wasn’t properly […]