Balls of Fury (PG-13) What could be better than the folks behind "Reno: 911" taking Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon and re-writing it as a rude comedy about an illegal underground ping-pong tournament lorded over by evil Christopher Walken? Completely absurd, but I dare you not to giggle on multiple occasions. Opening Wednesday; check local listings
Becoming Jane (PG, 113 minutes) Winsome Anne Hathaway (The Devil Wears Prada) stars in this speculative biopic about young Jane Austen. Prior to becoming a famous author, Austen was just another romantic chick being wooed a young Irish hunk (James McAvoy from The Last King of Scotland). Brits James Cromwell, Julie Walters and Maggie Smith class up the joint in supporting roles. Perhaps the biggest blow to this romantic drama is the fact that it wasn’t actually penned by Austen. As a result, it’s no Pride and Prejudice. Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre.
The Bourne Ultimatum (PG-13, 111 minutes) The third (loose) adaptation of Robert Ludlum’s spy thriller series wraps things up for our amnesiac assassin Jason Bourne (Matt Damon). This time, our boy is racing around the globe, trying to shake a government agent and uncover the final mysteries about his dark past. This, of course, involves shooting a whole lot of people. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
 Kevin Bacon loads his grief over his son’s murder into a gun in Death Sentence. |
Death Sentence (R) Kevin Bacon plays a mild-mannered executive who has the perfect family life—that is, until he witnesses the brutal murder of his son by evil street punks and transforms into a blood-soaked vigilante killer. If this sounds a little like Death Wish, it should. It’s based on the book Death Sentence, author Brian Garfield’s sequel to his 1972 novel, Death Wish (which inspired the five Death Wish films starring Charles Bronson). James Wan (the dude behind the Saw films) directs. Opening Friday; check local listings
Hairspray (PG, 107 minutes) It seems redundant to remake the Broadway remake of John Waters’ 1988 film. But it’s hard to grouse when the results are such top-notch fun. Newcomer Nikki Blonsky takes over for Ricki Lake, proving herself a spunky little sparkplug. Surrounding her is an able cast of singers and dancers including John Travolta, Christopher Walken, Queen Latifah, Amanda Bynes and Michelle Pfeiffer. The costumes are great, the music is infectious and the story (about the racial integration of a 1960s TV dance show) quite sincere. It’s hard not to grin your way from start to finish. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Halloween (NR) Rocker Rob Zombie (House of 1,000 Corpses) tries his hand at remaking (or "reimagining" or whatever) John Carpenter’s 1978 slasher classic. Zombie crams the cast with great cameos (Malcolm McDowell, Udo Kier, Danny Trejo, Dee Wallace, Brad Dourif, Ken Foree, Sid Haig, Adrienn Barbeau, Sybil Danning, Richard Lynch). The story remains largely unchanged, with disturbed, knife-wielding Michael Meyers returning to his hometown of Haddonfield after spending 17 years in a mental institution. Zombie (who also scripted) obviously loves the material, and adds a bit more backstory to chew over in this not-unwelcome go-around. Opening Friday; check local listings
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (PG-13, 138 minutes) The fifth Harry Potter film hits theaters over summer for a change. This time around, meddling bureaucrats have taken over the Hogwarts School. It’s up to Harry and his friends to practice their evil-busting skills in secret in order to combat the growing menace of Lord Voldemort. …Oh, and there’s kissing. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Illegal Tender (R, 108 minutes) John Singleton (Boyz n the Hood, 2 Fast 2 Furious) has his name all over the poster, but he’s only the producer on this urban gangsta flick. It’s directed by Franc. (with a period) Reyes, who gave us the largely unsuccessful urban gangsta flick, Empire. Wanda de Jesús (Blood Work) stars as an upper-class widow who teams up with her college-age son (Rick Gonzalez, Biker Boyz) to battle a team of relentless assassins bent on wiping out their family line. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
The Invasion (PG-13, 93 minutes) Do we really need another remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Probably not. Actually, this one’s two remakes in one. The studio didn’t like German director Oliver Hirschbiegel’s first version, so they brought in the Wachowski brothers (The Matrix) to rewrite it and James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) to redirect it. Oh well. At least this one amps up the star power with Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig on the poster. No alien pods this time around, just an epidemic that turns people against one another. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
The Last Legion (PG-13, 110 minutes) This cheap, poorly cast historical fantasy hopes to cash in on a little bit of that leftover 300 money. Good luck. It’s directed by a guy who helmed a couple of episodes of "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" and purports to tell the story of ousted young Roman Emperor Romulus Augustus (Thomas Sangster, Nanny McPhee) who flees to England looking for supporters (and a magical sword named Excalibur). The "international" cast includes Colin Firth (Bridget Jones’s Diary), Ben Kingsley (Gandhi) and Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Mr. Bean’s Holiday (G, 90 minutes) Though most Americans don’t realize it, the first Mr. Bean movie was one of the most successful comedies in history—mostly because its wordless slapstick made it suitable for release in countries as far flung as Argentina, Iceland and Estonia. Honestly, Bean was not star Rowan Atkinson’s finest hour. But it made $200 million, guaranteeing some sort of sequel. Ten years later, we get this collection of vignettes in which the hapless Mr. Bean travels to France, learns to bicycle, fights with seafood and helps reunite a young tyke with his father. Atkinson is no Harold Lloyd, but the film is worthy of a few decent chuckles. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Mr. Bean’s Holiday trailer. |
The Nanny Diaries (PG-13, 107 minutes) Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus’ popular tell-all novel comes to the big screen with Scarlett Johansson as a college student who goes to work as a nanny for a rich New York couple. Suddenly, she’s tasked with caring for a bratty kid, dealing with the dysfuctional parents (Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti) and juggling a possible new romance (Chris Evans from Fantastic Four). Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
No Reservations (PG, 105 minutes) Liberally stealing its title from Anthony Bourdain’s TV series, this standard-issue romantic comedy finds Catherine Zeta-Jones cast as a stuck-up, self-centered chef who learns to live and love when she suddenly becomes the guardian of her young niece (Abigail Breslin). Yes, the plot has been recycled endlessly (this one’s actually a remake of the German film, Mostly Martha), but the cast (including Aaron Eckhart as the would-be love interest) is at least pleasant to look at. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Ratatouille (G, 110 minutes) Animation lovers can breathe a sigh of relief. Pixar, the team behind The Incredibles, Toy Story and so much more, returns with another CGI comedy for the whole family. The star is a food-loving rodent living inside a famous Paris bistro who dreams of becoming a world-class chef—not a career path open to most rats. To realize his gastronomic potential, he teams up with a hapless young kitchen helper to wow the cooking world. Patton Oswalt, Ian Holm, Brian Dennehy, Peter O’Toole and Janeane Garofalo are among the voice cast. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Resurrecting the Champ (PG-13, 111 minutes) Josh Hartnett and Samuel L. Jackson star in this sort-of-based-on-a-true-story drama about an ambitious, up-and-coming sports writer who stumbles across a knockout human interest story. After rescuing a homeless man, our journalist discovers the down-and-out guy is actually a boxing legend believed to have passed away years ago. This one’s partially an uplifting sports movie and partially a flick about the basic human need to inflate one’s own glory. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Rush Hour 3 (PG-13, 90 minutes) Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker and director Brett Ratner are back for another exciting, occasionally obnoxious go-around in the Rush Hour franchise. This time, mismatched buddy cop duo of Chief Inspector Lee and Detective Carter are in Paris and have indavertantly gotten themelves mixed up with a murderous Chinese Triad. This calls for some kung fu and some wacky "yo mama" jokes! Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
The Simpsons Movie (PG-13, 87 minutes) Who doesn’t love "The Simpsons"? Here, America’s favorite animated family comes to the big screen. Seems Homer has lost his job at the power plant after causing a nuclear accident that forces the evacuation of Springfield, possibly forever. In a word: D’oh! Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Stardust (PG-13, 130 minutes) The popular fantasy novel by comic book icon Neil Gaiman gets turned into a live-action film about a young man who promises to retrieve a fallen star for his beloved. His quest takes him into a magical realm where stars are alive, witches prey on humans and pirates sail through the skies. Claire Danes is the star (literally), Michelle Pfeiffer is the witch and Robert De Niro is the pirate. Fans of romantic adventure stories along the lines of The Princess Bride will welcome this one with open arms. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Superbad (R, 114 minutes) From the makers of Knocked Up comes another outrageous comedy. This one stars Jonah Hill (Accepted) and Michael Cera ("Arrested Development") as a couple of dorky, codependent high schoolers who figure they’ll get lucky if only they can score some booze for an upcoming graduation party. This is unrepentant R-rated stuff and all the better for it. Underneath all the shocking talk about male and female anatomy, however, is a rather sweet story about friendship and growing up. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Underdog (PG, 84 minutes) For rabid fans of the Garfield movies comes this creepy-looking live-action/CGI adaptation of the classic 1964 cartoon. Jason Lee ("My Name is Earl") provides the voice for our canine superhero. This juvenile offering plays mighty fast and loose with the original, setting it all in the "real" world and throwing in some rude humor for good measure. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
War (R, 103 minutes) Jet Li (Unleashed) and Jason Statham (The Transporter) continue the dumb-but-violent route with this action thriller about an FBI agent (Statham) who battles the mysterious assassin (Li) responsible for his partner’s murder. The word "bang" appears a lot in the screenplay. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
