300 (R, 117 minutes) Much like his previous work, Sin City, Frank Miller’s stylish comic book 300 comes to life on the big screen. This faithful (nearly panel-for-panel) adaptation arrives courtesy of up-and-comer Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead). This violent, highly visual adventure tale tells the story of the battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. where 300 bedraggled Spartans beat back the entire Persian army. Gerard Butler (The Phantom of the Opera) and Dominic West (“The Wire”) star. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (R, 86 minutes) Cartoon Network’s brilliantly strange “Adult Swim” series gets its own movie film for theaters! The three animated members of Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Master Shake, Frylock and Meatwad) join forces to battle an immortal, intergalactic piece of exercise equipment. Sort of. Anyone who’s watched the show knows there’s not much point in trying to summarize the surreal, non sequitur-filled plots. You’ll either find this completely hilarious or totally nonsensical. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Are We Done Yet? (PG, 92 minutes) Clearly Ice Cube isn’t, cranking out a sequel to his 2005 family friendly hit Are We There Yet? This time around, filmmakers “borrow” basically the entire script to 1948’s Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, sending Mr. Cube out to the suburbs with his brood to perform endless slapstick repairs on a rundown house. Somewhere in southern California, Eazy-E is rolling over in his grave. Oh well. It beats Barbershop 3 or The Friday after the Friday After Next Friday. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Blades of Glory (PG-13, 93 minutes) The names Will Ferrell (Talladega Nights, Anchorman) and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite, The Benchwarmers) don’t exactly guarantee intellectual social satire, but they do promise pure, stupid fun. This sporting comedy finds the comedic duo cast as a pair of rival Olympic ice skaters who get permanently banned from the sport thanks to their on-ice fisticuffs. A loophole, however, allows them back in the game—but only if they compete in couples skating. Cast includes comedians Will Arnett, Amy Poehler and Rob Corddry and skaters Sasha Cohen, Peggy Fleming and Scott Hamilton. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
The Condemned (R, 100 minutes) This junky remake of The World’s Most Dangerous Game, The Running Man, Battle Royale and roughly 1,200 other films finds wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin cast as a death row prisoner forced to engage in a fight-to-the-death reality show against a bunch of other murderous prisoners on a desolate island. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Disturbia (PG-13, 104 minutes) It’s a blatant steal of Hitchcock’s Rear Window, but the film is fairly honest about it. Shia LaBeouf (Holes, Constantine) stars as a teen stuck at home under house arrest. Bored out of his skull, he takes to spying on the neighbors. Before long, he spots one who might just be a serial killer, bumping off victims in his garage. Is this observation real, or just the product of an overactive imagination? Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Fracture (R, 112 minutes) Anthony Hopkins as a manipulative killer behind stuck bars? Haven’t we seen this somewhere before? Ryan Gosling plays the young D.A. caught up in a game of cat-and-mouse with Hopkins’ could-be killer. TV producer Gregory Hoblit (“NYPD Blue,” “L.A. Law”) directs. The film misses a lot of opportunity for suspense, but the absorbing script and quality acting make this a good bet for legal drama fans. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Grindhouse (R, 185 minuts) Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez team up to create this double-feature tribute to the days of junky grindhouse horror films. Tarantino directs a killer car chase film starring Kurt Russell, while Rodriguez gives us an over-the-top zombie film with Rose McGowan. The films do their best to re-create the ramshackle exploitation vibe of the mid-’70s—right down to the damaged film stock and missing scenes. Plus, there are even trailers for other “fake” films. A grand old time! Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
The Hoax (R, 120 minutes) Richard Gere does what might be his best acting job in this based-on-a-true-story tale of writer Clifford Irving. In the early ‘70s, Irving lied his way into a million dollar contract, allegedly ghostwriting the autobiography of legendary recluse Howard Hughes. Of course, it was all one big hoax. Irving kept it up for a surprisingly long time, considering Hughes was still alive at the time. Director Lasse Hallström (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape) gives the film a light touch, producing a humorous, occasionally mesmerizing character study that mixes the conniving antics of Catch Me If You Can with the paranoid Watergate-era conspiracy of All The President’s Men. Playing at Vinegar Hill Theatre
Hot Fuzz (R, 121 minutes) Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, the team behind the 2004 gem Sean of the Dead, reunite to tweak another movie genre. This time around, Pegg stars as a top London cop who is sent to a sleepy English hamlet and teamed with a dimwit partner (Sean’s Nick Frost) by jealous colleagues. Eventually, the mismatched duo are prevailed upon to solve a series of bloody murders. The film has a blast making fun of classic ‘80s buddy cop movies, and the laughs are—more often than not—explosive. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
In the Land of Women (PG-13, 97 minutes) Adam Brody from “The O.C.” stars as a dorky-yet-cool 20-something writer who gets dumped by his hot model girlfriend and movies in with his nutty grandma (Olympia Dukakis) in suburban Michigan. There, he becomes romantically entangled with a beautiful housewife (Meg Ryan) and her daughter (Kristen Stewart). The film is cute and all, but feels a bit too much like a Lifetime movie. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
The Invisible (PG-13, 97 minutes) This remake of a recent Swedish thriller has an apparently dead teen (Justin Chatwin, War of the Worlds) wandering the halls of his high school looking for help in nailing his killer. He finds it in the form of a depressed girl (Margarita Levieva), who is suffering her own slightly more symbolic form of “invisibility.” Can Ghost Boy and Gloomy Girl solve the murder before, you know, some other bad stuff happens? Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
Kickin’ It Old School (PG-13, 107 minutes) Comedian/prank show star Jamie Kennedy (who must be really jealous of Sacha Baron Cohen at this point) stars in this doofy comedy about a young breakdancer who hits his head during a talent show and slips into a coma. Waking up 20 years later, he tries to revive his aging team’s outdated career. Good for a few ’80s-inspired laughs and yet another in an endless string of Da
vid Hasselhoff cameos. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Lucky You (PG-13) Curtis Hanson (8 Mile, L.A. Confidential) directs this comedy/drama about a hard-hearted poker player (Hulk’s Eric Bana) who falls in love with an aspiring singer (Drew Barrymore). Can our boy learn to drop the poker face and express his true feelings in time to win the girl (and maybe the money)? Coming Friday; check local listings
Meet the Robinsons (G, 102 minutes) Disney presents this colorful but convoluted non-Pixar-based CGI film. In it, a kid inventor is whisked away to the future by a mysterious stranger in a time machine. The plot—something about multiple generations of good and evil, a talking dinosaur and a hat with a mind of its own—seems unnecessarily complicated. Kids with ADD will probably be fine with all the frantic action, but adults are likely to find it a loud and unfocussed mix of Back to the Future and “The Jetsons.” Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
The Namesake (PG-13, 122 minutes) Mira Nair (Monsoon Wedding, Vanity Fair) directs this multigenerational drama/comedy about an American-born son of East Indian immigrants who tries to shake off his parents’ too-traditional ways. Kal Penn (Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle) stars as our sullen protagonist, stuck between two worlds. Like the novel it’s based on (by Jhumpa Lahiri), the film wisely paints its pictures in small, intimate strokes. In English, Bengali and Hindi with English subtitles. Playing at Regal Downtown Mall 6
Next (PG-13, 96 minutes) Nicolas Cage, his hair still not recovered from Ghost Rider, is Cris Johnson, a Las Vegas magician blessed with the power of precognition. Even though he’s tried his whole life to hide his ability to see into the future, he ends up recruited by a government agent (Julianne Moore) to help find a nuclear device hidden in Los Angeles by evil terrorists. From the writer of The Punisher and the director of Die Another Day. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
Perfect Stranger (R, 109 minutes) What would you do if you suspected your best friend were murdered by a rich businessman with a taste for kinky online sex? Natually, you’d go undercover, seduce the guy and try to get him to confess. (Assuming you were in a sexy Hollywood thriller, of course.) Bruce Willis plays the could-be murderer. Halle Berry plays the undercover seductress. The filmmakers allegedly shot three different endings, each with a different character revealed as the murderer. So, don’t go expecting a well-thought-out, intricately plotted mystery. Playing at Regal Seminole Square Cinema 4
September Dawn (R, 110 minutes) While this film is technically another historical look at the Mormon church, it talks about a chunk of history that the LDS folks tend not to bring up. The film is set in 1857 and covers a fictionalized version of the Mountain Meadows Massacre, in which 140 people were slaughtered by a renegade Mormon group obsessed with the idea of “Blood Atonement.” A tacked-on Romeo-and-Juliet romance is a bit of a distraction, but the horrific events aren’t exactly toned down. Jon Voight makes a memorable impression as a blood-crazy Mormon bishop. In other words: This ain’t no The Book of Mormon, Vol. 1: The Journey or The Work and The Glory. Coming Friday; check local listings
Spider-Man 3 (PG-13, 140 minutes) The third time is supposed to be a charm, but poor Spider-Man is having an awfully bad time of it in this second sequel to the smash hit superhero flick. Seems that Spidey’s best friend (James Franco) has gone insane and is now trying to kill him. He’s also been possessed by a malevolent alien life force and is trying to bring a sand-powered supervillain (Thomas Hayden Church) to justice. Oh, and he’s thinking of getting married. The film’s a bit long, but there’s plenty of action and the special effects should please hardcore comic book fans. Coming Friday; check local listings
Vacancy (R, 100 minutes) Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson star in this fill-in-the-blank horror flick about a young couple whose car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Luckily (or is it?), they stumble across an isolated motel. Turns out, however, that the motel owners are psychos who torture and kill their clients and film it. If you’re one of those types who can’t wait until Hostel 2 or Saw IV, this might satisfy your torture porn jones. Playing at Carmike Cinema 6
