“Better Off Ted” Wednesday 8:30pm, ABC More “Dilbert” than “The Office,” “Better Off Ted” follows Ted Crisp (Jay Harrington), a nice-guy single dad who is the director of research and development for Veridian Dynamics, a morally questionable business that creates, say, gourds that double as WMDs, and isn’t above creating the world’s most soothing hemorrhoid […]

“The Chopping Block” Wednesday 8pm, NBC This cooking competition is essentially a pastiche of several previously existing reality shows. From “The Restaurant,” we get the premise of examining what goes into opening a restaurant in New York City, but in this case it’s two competing, neighboring restaurants. From “Hell’s Kitchen,” we get the overbearing British […]

“Make Me a Supermodel” Wednesday 10pm, Bravo Season 2 of Bravo’s “Top Model” knockoff debuts, with massive changes to the panel. Only co-host/mentor Tyson Beckford remains, joined by Australian model Nicole Trunfio as the girls’ mentor, plus the judges: designer Catherine Malandrino, model Jenny Shimizu, photographer Perou, and model scout Marlon. I’m not sure that’s […]

“Dark Days in Monkey City” Tuesday 10pm & 10:30pm, Animal Planet One of the most terrifying things I’ve ever seen on TV was an episode of the amazing “Planet Earth” documentary miniseries in which a pack of monkeys declared war on a rival gang of monkeys and snuck up on them military style—signals and everything—and […]

“Top Chef” Wednesday 10pm, Bravo We’re down to the final four, and I find myself torn. Not about who should win—the answer is obviously Stefan, who has been a dominating force since day one. But about how I feel about the season as a whole. I prefer the contestants as people to the obnoxious batch […]

“Nip/Tuck” Tuesday 10pm, F/X I had given up on this outrageous plastic-surgery drama a few seasons back. Then I caught a recent episode and nearly flipped my shit. The show is crazier than ever, and I love it. Storylines include a woman with a family history of breast cancer who is so convinced that she’ll […]

“51st Annual Grammy Awards” Sunday 8pm, CBS I actually like most of the Grammy nominees this time around. It’s a tough call for Record of the Year; I’d be pleased if it went to soulful British chanteuse Adele for “Chasing Pavements,” Coldplay for the sublime “Viva la Vida,” or M.I.A.’s undeniable “Paper Planes.” I’m still […]

“Puppy Bowl V” Sunday 5pm, Animal Planet “Puppy Bowl” is counterprogramming to the “Super Bowl,” which I basically refuse to write about. You all know it’s happening (Sunday at 6pm on NBC), you all know who’s playing (Steelers versus Cardinals), and I have nothing to add to the conversation that the cadre of useless sports […]

“Lost” Wednesday 8pm, ABC “Lost” gives “Heroes” fans hope. After wading through two seasons of terrible subplots, unlikable new characters and a general feeling of no direction, loyal viewers were rewarded with the terrific Season 4, in which the show totally got its groove back. (Is it a coincidence that comic book genius Brian K. […]

“American Idol” Tuesday & Wednesday 8pm, Fox “Idol” remains America’s No. 1 TV show in the ratings, although the numbers have started to slide the past few seasons. Part of that is due to the natural laws of pop culture thermodynamics —all things lead toward entropy—but the show wasn’t helped by the overwhelmingly crappy Season […]