Dear Ace: Is there a place in Charlottesville where you can get laser tattoo removal? (Not that I want to or anything…)—Tom E. Lee Tom: For years, Ace wore only pants. Never Bermuda shorts, never running shorts, never even a bathing suit. He’d never moon passers-by, never undress with anyone in the room (unless it […]

Ace: I overheard someone talking about “freecycle” the other day. What is it? Some sort of biking initiative?—Stu Wheeler Stu: In his later, ahem, 30s, Ace assisted a professor of private investigationism at a local university. From time to time, he would notice a group of hipster students assembling themselves on campus. There, in a […]

Ace: I was driving down Market Street the other day and noticed that the creepy sculpture on the corner of Market and High streets is missing! Any idea what might have happened to it?—Shirley Holmes Shirley: When taking a spin in the Acemobile, your trusty reporter tries not to let his eyes avert from the […]

Hey Ace: What happened to that newsstand that used to be on the Downtown Mall? Didn’t that guy who bought it want to turn it into a bar?—Rhea Porter Rhea: Ace is always skeptical when someone wants to buy something with the intention of turning it into a drinking venue. Seems to Ace all those monies […]

Dear Ace: Where did the “Venable” in Venable Elementary come from? Doesn’t that word mean you’re really, really old?—Justin A. Child Justin: It is a curious thing, linguistics. Just a few letters and the entire word can change meaning. Of course, it is even more curious, perhaps, that one does not know the origin of […]

Dear Ace: You know that large digital display on 29N near Fashion Square Mall that shows the temperature? Is that thing accurate? When was the last time the temperature was calibrated?—Urma Stat Urma: Why yes, actually. Ace knows exactly the display of which you’re speaking. In fact, he can be seen on that side of […]

Dear Ace: There seems to be a Home Depot lurking around town somewhere. I get applications in the mail for their credit cards, frequent sales flyers, etc., but always without an address. I have one question: Where the hell is it?—S. Crue Driver S.: If Ace had a hammer, he’d hammer in the morning. And […]

Dear Ace: Where can I go in Charlottesville to buy a boa constrictor/talking parrot/ferret/alligator/elephant/etc.?—Zoe KeeperZoe: Let Ace first address the issue of putting the words “exotic” and “ferret” in the same sentence. Ferrets, faithful reader, are not exotic. They sleep 14-18 hours a day and, according to Ace’s trusty source (thanks, Wikipedia!), include raisins among […]

Dear Ace: In light of the “Best Of” voting, I was wondering: What’s the best church in Charlottesville?—Evan Lee Evan: Ace was really hoping he’d be assigned to cover “Best Place to Stumble Home From At 4am” this week, as he’s already been preparing for that assignment a hefty portion of his adult life. Alas, […]

Dear Ace: The photos hanging in the trees on the Downtown Mall were really cool. Where did they go? And can I get one?—John I. Candy John: If anyone’s getting one, pal, it’s gonna be yours truly. Those photographs were awesome, and Ace thinks one would look perfect hanging above the fireplace in his bedroom […]