“Fringe”
Tuesday 8pm, Fox
Things look rough for the “Dawson’s Creek” alums right now. Katie Holmes is getting bad buzz for her Broadway debut. The Beek may be at a soup kitchen near you. And poor Pacey Whitter himself, Joshua Jackson, seems doomed with his latest project, this sci-fi drama from J.J. Abrams (“Lost,” “Alias”). Essentially a different take on “The X-Files” (and they aren’t even “The X-Files” anymore, as that sad little summer movie can attest), the show concerns an earnest young FBI agent (Anna Torv) tracking down a major medical mystery. She approaches this generation’s Einstein (John Noble), who is unfortunately crazy. The only way to reach him is through his brilliant but screwed up son (Jackson), and the three of them find out that a major multinational corporation has been playing fast and loose with science and ethics. There’s some kind of shady conspiracy involved, of course.
“Hole in the Wall”
Wednesday 8pm, Fox
In “Hole in the Wall,” contestants dressed in silver spandex stand on a platform, and then a huge wall moves at them with a shape cut out of it. It may be a circle, or a square, or an arrow or the silhouette of a ballerina. It’s all very exciting. The object of the game is for the contestant to manipulate his body through that hole, so that he doesn’t end up pushed into the water pit below. That’s it. Amazingly stupid, no? And yet, I feel compelled to watch. There’s something primal about people getting pushed into a water tank by a big piece of Styrofoam, I guess. Of course, America can’t take all the credit. It was originally a Japanese show called “Brain Wall,” and then the Australians adapted it first, because they are cooler than us.
Gym Teacher: The Movie
Friday 8pm, Nickelodeon
Christopher Meloni is known primarily for being gruff, brooding, and almost terrifyingly butch on “Law & Order: SVU.” Now he gets to show off his gonzo side in this made-for-TV kid flick. Meloni plays Coach Stewie, a former gymnast who brought shame to his country in the Seoul Olympics. Since then he has spent his life becoming the most bad-ass gym teacher ever, and is now competing for the title of Gym Teacher of the Year. He’s spurred on in his quest—and frequently sexually harassed—by his mentally unstable principal, played by Amy Sedaris (YES!), and things get complicated when he secretly drafts his girlfriend’s son (dead-eyed Nathan Kress, from something called an “iCarly”; ask your kid) into his quest. Directed by Sedaris’ “Strangers With Candy” mate Paul Dinello, so expect some subversive overtones mixed in with the short shorts.
