AAA isn’t just an automobile club. It also stands for “access, affordability and anonymity,” Sex and the Internet author Al Cooper’s “Triple-A Engine” that’s making the Internet the perfect venue for porn. In the old days, you had to go out to buy adult magazines and rent X-rated movies. Now that brand of entertainment is delivered straight to your computer screen in the privacy of your own home—or at work, for that matter.
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The majority of U.S. Internet users are women. Whether to check the temperature outside, find a date, Google a salad dressing, or plan a vacation, the Internet has become an integral part of daily female life. And the mouse does not stop there. One in three visitors to adult websites is a woman. The idea that only men watch porn is a myth.
Here’s another myth: All adult content and porn on the Internet is dangerous territory. The “dark side of Cyberspace” has been blamed for causing sexual addiction (which I will talk about in my next column) and providing sexual predators a convenient place to hide, find their victims and strike. But let me assure you that there are also some sources of adult entertainment online that can help you enhance sex in a positive and healthy way.
Start by checking out the new Internet guide, LoveAndHealth.info, designed to help people responsibly use the Internet to explore pleasure and sexuality. Two websites I recommend for finding adult material that might appeal to you are Libida.com and Goodvibes.com. In previous columns, I have mentioned their selections of erotica, but they also offer a wide range of DVDs for everyone’s tastes. Reviews written by staff members help you make a selection among the many different films.
Defining quality adult entertainment is, of course, completely subjective. According to Good Vibrations’ senior buyer, Coyote Days, they like their video choices to meet certain criteria: “Are the performers having a good time? Are they enthusiastic? Is there chemistry? How is the filmmaking? Are people of color incorporated in a way that doesn’t just support racial stereotypes? Is there anything that stands out—a performance or performer? Soundtrack? Cinematography? Are the women enjoying themselves? Does the film include any focus on female sexuality or pleasure?” I really welcome such an approach to selecting adult entertainment—it throws out all the degrading stuff that is frequently off-putting to women.
Recently, several female directors have started making porn movies aimed specifically at women’s tastes. More female-oriented porn brings worthier options to women who enjoy enriching their sex lives—either alone or with a partner. So if you have always thought that porn is demeaning to women, maybe it’s time for you to take a fresh look.
And for people who wish to take a more active approach when spicing up their sex lives, there is a new twist, and it’s not just for Paris Hilton. Many women, men and couples use video cameras to record themselves while having sex, either for private viewing or to share with others. Websites such as iFriends.com facilitate contact between viewers and individuals engaging in live, webcam-recorded sex. I recommend that particular website, because iFriends does not tolerate obscenity or hardcore pornography. They haves strict ethical and safety guidelines that both visitors and so called “chathosts” agree to adhere to, making this a responsible option for exploring the voyeuristic side of you.
Annette Owens, MD, Ph.D., is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. She sees clients in her Charlottesville office (cvillewellness.com) and answers questions online at LoveandHealth.info and SexualHealth.com. She is an advisor on the Health & Science Advisory Board (HSAB.org) and has co-edited the new four-volume book, Sexual Health (Praeger).
