I am a lucky girl. Not because my mother looks 10 years younger than she is or because I was blessed with reasonably straight teeth. Rather, because for the past week I have been making my way through events at the HBO Comedy Festival and thus have had the privilege of sharing the company of an absurdly large number of cute funny-boys. True, like all white funny-boys, the members of this funny-boy invasion pretty much all look the same—emo glasses, dark hair, New Balance sneakers, hoodies, you know the type—but that doesn’t make them any less hottttt. Plus, they make poop jokes! And masturbation jokes! Thus, I basically sat around all week drooling. I don’t think I’m their type anyway, so I had nothing to lose except fluids.
Anyway, I have a point here. And that point is that among the hottest of these said hotties-in-hottie-uniform were the brothers (not “brothas,” but actual brothers) from the comedy site JibJab. If you go to JibJab you may not be privy to the hotness itself, per se, but you can at least rest assured that you are at least patronizing hotness. (As an aside, I think that “patron of hotness” should be the latter day equivalent of “patron of the arts.” Such a distinction would give the folks that need it—like, say, film director Brett Ratner—so much more legitimacy!) Of course, aside from the self-congratulatory knowledge that you are a patron of hotness, you are also patronizing two very funny dudes with a very funny website. You might recall, for example, the smash hit of the 2004 election, “This Land,” in which animated versions of John Kerry and George Bush serenade the electorate? In addition to such JibJab originals, there are Internet classics like the immortal video of cows failing to have sex on ice and old William Hung (ohhhhh, William Hung).
Unfortunately for me, the brothers JibJab are both maweed. Thus, whether I’m your type or not, Michael Showalter, you’re my second choice, so here I come: You. Are. Hot. But you probably-definitely already know that, so nevermind….probably. Definitely.
